Domestic Violence Problems
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No Wishbones for Me
A facebook friend posted this quote: “Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.” Good advice. But I think my wishbone is coming back. Or maybe it just never left. I think…
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The Boys & The Abuser as Primary Custodian
I am SO HAPPY to have my boys with me right now. Will is “primary” parent right now, but he allowed me to bring the boys home with me last night and they will stay…
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There is No Good God – Primary Custody to Abusive Husband
I hope God’s absence in my heart means that he’s present with Eddie and Marc. I hope God curled up in bed beside Eddie tonight to whisper my I love yous.
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Residue from My Abusive Relationship Clogs My Brain
The residue from my abusive relationship clogs my brain neurons like smoke and nicotine residue clogs electronics. Enough smoke and the greasy nicotine will kill a computer, a server…enough abusive residue can kill my brain…
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Why Did I Stay in An Abusive Relationship?
Why did I stay in an abusive relationship for so long? For many reasons that seemed quite rational until after I left the abusive marriage. Here they are.
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I Was Happy at Times but Couldn’t Notice It
I experienced these small instances of happiness, but then I quickly let them fade as I chose to tend to the pain, confusion, and sense of merely living through the day. Maybe now, because I…
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I’d Rather Risk Losing Than Break His Heart
I’m not prepared to negotiate in private with my abusive ex for custody of our children. The judge will have to decide. This may have a bad end.
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I’m Not A Victim, Don’t Feel Like A Survivor
Victim or survivor? There has to be a different word for what I have experienced and what is to come. I don’t feel like repeating the word “victim” to myself or portraying myself as such.…
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A Necessary Evil: Pain of Separating from Abuser
I saw Will today. He looks good. Softer. I caught him glance at me sidelong and I wondered what he was thinking. Will gave Marc a bag to put in the trunk of my car. It…
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I Can’t Make Him Be Nice, So I Can’t Make Him Angry
I feel anxious tonight. I woke up anxious this morning. I could be anxious about this weekend in general. The boys are spending Saturday night with their father. I am anxious about things I cannot control and…