Effects of Abuse

Anatomy of a Fight

Originally I titled this “What I Cause” to reflect the feelings my abuser wanted me to assume. It worked for many years. He said it was my fault he blew up in rages, my fault he calmed down and used all his strength to revert to a position of protector, the one who had to…
+✢+✢+✢+
It’s All You

Blame causes the victim to believe the abuse is their fault. The abuser claims, “You made me do that!” and “I wouldn’t lose my temper if you …!” Don’t believe it. If you were powerful enough to “make” them yell at you, then why aren’t you powerful enough to “make” them be nice to you?
+✢+✢+✢+
PTSD Makes a Noisy Mind

I forgot how anxious I was until after I left my ex and experienced peace for the first time in 18 years. There is such a difference from when I lived with the abuse! If I’m not yet at peace, that’s okay. It will come. Whatever “this” is beats what I used to feel by…
+✢+✢+✢+
Coming Apart – Losing Personal Boundaries

I laid bare the last protected areas of my soul in hope that he could understand me. I just knew if he understood me, the arguments would end.
+✢+✢+✢+
Trophy Wife – Foretells the Story of Abuse

When I drew her, I thought she was the water giving life to the flowers. I now know that water symbolically represents emotions and she is drowning in emotions that have nowhere to go. That vase is solid. It’s not going to spill or break. There is no outlet for what she feels. There’s no…
+✢+✢+✢+
Boundaries Are Crucial for Abuse Victims

Once you set your personal boundaries, you do not have to tell a person who crosses your line why you’re doing what you’re doing unless you want to do so. With no warning at all, you can simply walk away from the conversation or interrupt to say what you need to say. There’s no guarantee…
+✢+✢+✢+
What Does Living with Domestic Abuse Feel Like?

Living with domestic abuse feels like you’re carrying around a 500-pound weight–except you don’t realize you’re carrying the weight. You don’t remember how much grander life felt before you picked up the weight, because adding it to your burdens happened gradually. Imperceptibly, Abuse built its home on your shoulders. Effects of Living With Domestic Abuse…
+✢+✢+✢+
Two Effects of Verbal Abuse Video

Mental and Emotional Fatigue from Verbal Abuse (A couple of minutes of needless video clipped at the beginning.) And when I did check my email yesterday, I found an email from a friend of mine who is kind of in the same situation. I’ve never met her, you all know how that goes online, and…
+✢+✢+✢+
Ali’s Story of Abuse

How Ali Found Out She Was Being Abused I have recently separated from my husband after being married 8 years. I have 2 children aged 3 and 1. My marriage has been a roller coaster ride from the beginning. But over the years the lows have got longer and more terrifying. I had thought our…
+✢+✢+✢+
Dream World of Abuse in Relationships

I wrote this some time ago, before leaving my abuser: Poe wrote, “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” Perhaps his statement sheds light on why abuse is so difficult to describe, so difficult to recognize, end, and admit. Living in abuse, I know that nothing is real. Every…
+✢+✢+✢+