Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Domestic Violence with Children


  • In Your Heart of Hearts, You Know You’re Leaving

    Understanding is not what I need, and it’s not what I need to give. “Understanding” has super-glued my heart and mind to a mad man, and “understanding” will doom my children to repeating my loop.

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  • Work to Undo

    I’ve got two boys that are going to be their own men in a few short years. I have a lot of work to undo. And hey – if you have a second, send a…

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  • Letting Go of Teen’s Choices After He’s Lived with Domestic Violence

    However, I am entirely certain that letting go is the right thing to do. I must allow Marc to make his own choices and then face the consequences of those choices.

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  • I Respect Him Less

    It made me wonder why Marc would react so respectfully when his dad used harsh language, but so “teenager-ish” and disrespectfully when I did it the other night. Specifically, when I “commanded” his respect during…

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  • Hurting the Boy And Blaming Me

    Then Will hit Eddie’s arm hard & said, “BOY go get in your OWN damn bed!” Eddie got up in the dark, made his way to the door quietly crying & left.

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  • Gnawing Hurt-My Reality Counts For Something. Right?

    Gnawing Hurt-My Reality Counts For Something. Right?

    My reality counts for something. Right? It was agony. Maybe it was agony because I was hurting ALONE. Just like now, I alone hurt for this marriage, for my husband, for my children, and for…

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  • Bat Shit Crazy is Better Than Abused

    Will deployed to Iraq and I’m in our home in North Carolina with our boys. Will doesn’t call or write very often and it’s easy to pretend that I’m alone. I don’t particularly enjoy it…

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  • No More Children

    Worthless. Poopy. Bad. Careful. Never mind. What is it to fear? In my head or in reality? No more babies. No more pregnancies. Good and Bad. Positive and Negative. Glad and Sad at some times…

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  • We Had a Bad Day

    We Had a Bad Day

    First a Note Note from 2012: One of my greatest fears is that my behavior negatively affects my boys. Looking back on this journal entry makes that fear real. I know they’ve felt pain due…

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