Domestic Violence with Children
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Leaving But Not Yet Free
He and I have children together. I am connected to him for the rest of my life, through them. Although our vows to love, honor and cherish fell by the wayside, “for better or worse, ’til death do we part” holds strong. Some promises can’t be taken back. I wish I could say I was all right with…
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Secrets Worth Keeping
When I started this blog, I was an open book. I told it ALL, and it felt wonderful to unload. Will desperately wanted me to shut up, to forget about it, to stop telling “lies”. I knew I couldn’t stop telling my truth. Spilling those secrets was the best thing I ever did for myself because…
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No Wishbones for Me
A facebook friend posted this quote: “Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.” Good advice. But I think my wishbone is coming back. Or maybe it just never left. I think I am foolish for wishing what I wish. My wish is the same as the day I started this blog:…
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The Boys & The Abuser as Primary Custodian
I am SO HAPPY to have my boys with me right now. Will is “primary” parent right now, but he allowed me to bring the boys home with me last night and they will stay with me through Sunday. Will swears we’ll do the same cycle over again until we get back into court on…
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There is No Good God – Primary Custody to Abusive Husband
I hope God’s absence in my heart means that he’s present with Eddie and Marc. I hope God curled up in bed beside Eddie tonight to whisper my I love yous.
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I Was Happy at Times but Couldn’t Notice It
I experienced these small instances of happiness, but then I quickly let them fade as I chose to tend to the pain, confusion, and sense of merely living through the day. Maybe now, because I know the pain is constantly ready to surface, I am more willing to let the good feelings wash over and…
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I’d Rather Risk Losing Than Break His Heart
I’m not prepared to negotiate in private with my abusive ex for custody of our children. The judge will have to decide. This may have a bad end.
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A Necessary Evil: Pain of Separating from Abuser
I saw Will today. He looks good. Softer. I caught him glance at me sidelong and I wondered what he was thinking. Will gave Marc a bag to put in the trunk of my car. It is going to stay there, unopened. Marc relayed that his dad didn’t have room for whatever is in the bag, and…
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When Is It Okay for Me to Be Angry?
So when is it okay for me to be angry? How do I get rid of it, find a solution for it, or at least just FEEL it, righteous or not, and move on?