Detaching from an Alcoholic

So much hurt, but I don’t want to give up on him. I worry that Al-Anon, by making me happy, will encourage him to drink.

[I’m partly right. Al-Anon helped me find my happy. When abuse victims are happy, the abuser finds us harder to control, so they increase the abuse to get us back in line. My happiness didn’t encourage his drinking, it encouraged his abuse.]

Al-Anon is helping me to detach from Will's drinking, but I'm not liking it too much. I feel responsible for making him well and happy so he can be NICE.If he doesn’t have to worry about my reaction to his drinking, then he may as well drink, I guess.

But then, I see when he is using me for the excuse to drink. And he did it just while ago because I don’t know how to react when I know he’s planning to drink.

I need to PLAN how to react to his drinking so I am not his excuse. But how?

It hurts to bite my tongue and say nothing. I want him to hurt too, but his hurt is his reason for drinking. He already hurts.

[Making excuses for anyone’s foul, repetitive behavior is a sign of abuse.]

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About Kellie Jo Holly

Kellie Jo Holly passionately advocates against domestic violence through her writing and mentoring service. She loves helping women cope with abuse while in the relationship and supporting them as they leave the relationship and begin to heal. You can also find Kellie on Google+, Facebook and Twitter. You can buy her books from Amazon.

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