Lately I’ve been thinking about you, the readers of this blog. You readers are my core; without you, I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to continue the leaving process after it begun. Without you, I think I may have resigned myself to more years of abuse – maybe I would have stayed until I died. Your encouragement, support (and in one case, your negativity) helped me to cement the idea in my head that leaving my abuser and staying gone was the right thing to do.
I consider those of you who didn’t contribute in writing but viewed the blog my silent army (I can see “how many” but not “who”). I think you were either suffering or knew someone who was, and I just couldn’t allow myself to let you down. Freedom from abuse was my only choice not only for me, but because I felt responsible to you. During my darkest hours, I thought of you, and my imagining that you were looking to me for guidance, to see what would happen if you left, allowed me to find the courage I needed to go on.
I know you are all “strangers” to me, but you’re the best damn strangers anyone has ever not known, and I thank you for being here for me. I’ve never been so grateful for the prayers and thoughts from strangers as I am today, as I look back.
Thank you. I appreciate you. I hope you’ll continue forward with me.
More to come tonight…