It’s All You

Blame causes the victim to believe the abuse is their fault. The abuser claims, “You made me do that!” and “I wouldn’t lose my temper if you …!” Don’t believe it. If you were powerful enough to “make” them yell at you, then why aren’t you powerful enough to “make” them be nice to you?

This doodle shows him, wide-eyed and ready on one side of the dividing line (tree). I am on the other side, separate from him, not feeling like a beloved partner, and ashamed to be where I am. Depressed and just plain shook. Both of us are behind the fence together because Will isolated me (and us as the couple we really were) long before I drew this picture.

I’m almost pushed off the page entirely. Squooshed against it hard. I’m sad looking at this.

More about isolation during domestic abuse at Isolation is Key for the Ability to Abuse.