Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Verbal and Emotional Abuse Help and Support


  • How Crazymaking and Coercive Control Affect Your Brain and Thinking

    How Crazymaking and Coercive Control Affect Your Brain and Thinking

    Have you ever walked away from an argument with your partner thinking, I know what just happened. So why can’t I explain it anymore? Maybe you started the conversation knowing exactly what you meant. Twenty minutes later, you were defending something you never said, apologizing for something you didn’t do, or wondering whether your memory…

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  • I Called My Local Sheriff’s Department (Non-Emergency)

    I Called My Local Sheriff’s Department (Non-Emergency)

    I called the Sheriff’s department and spoke with the person in charge of domestic violence cases. I wanted to find out as much as I could about the process that occurs after calling the police to a domestic disturbance. Knowing what could happen if you call the police can give you the courage to actually…

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  • After Abuse, Don’t Look Far to Find Yourself

    After Abuse, Don’t Look Far to Find Yourself

    You Didn’t Lose Yourself, You Hid After abuse, when we look into the mirror, we think we see someone we do not know anymore. We tend to think the abuse changed us at our core. We worry that we’ll never be “that girl” ever again. But I’ve decided to think of the effects of abuse…

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  • I Tried Marriage Counseling

    I Tried Marriage Counseling

    Marriage counseling is designed for couples who have a failure in communication or emotional connection. Abuse is NOT a communication failure, nor is it lacking an emotional connection. Abuse twists up love into an unrecognizable mass that both people mistakenly still call love. Abuse is not love, and abuse does not allow a relationship to…

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  • I’m in Long-Term Counseling

    I’m in Long-Term Counseling

    Find “the right” counselor. You get to decide who is the right counselor, no one else. If you don’t feel comfortable with a therapist after three visits, continue counseling but start looking for a better match. There are different kinds of therapies available to you. I recommend one that deals with the here and now…

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  • Received Counseling from the Army’s Morale Welfare and Recreation Program

    Received Counseling from the Army’s Morale Welfare and Recreation Program

    If you press charges and go to court and your military spouse is found guilty, you’ll receive counseling and other services and the soldier will most likely receive a Dishonorable Discharge. If the soldier is found guilty of domestic violence in court, victims of domestic violence qualify for Transitional Compensation (Financial). In my case, that…

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  • Lessons I’ve Learned From the Dark Side

    I have a wealth of lessons learned because of my experience with the dark side of humanity. I’ll bet all of you have learned a thing or two because of your abusive relationships, too. Maya Angelou said, “I can be changed by what happened to me; but I refuse to be reduced by it.” Abuse…

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  • Shapeshifting – Newsletter Sneak Peek

    Shapeshifting – Newsletter Sneak Peek

    Sneak Peek…Shhhh! Don’t tell! Jodi Aman let me interview her about narrative therapy. This form of therapy helps us to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves and assign different meanings to our personal history. As you can imagine, this is especially helpful for former and present targets of abuse because we’re so hard on ourselves. Here…

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  • Shapeshifting: How to Change Your Story

    Shapeshifting: How to Change Your Story

    July 2012 Newsletter Are You Ready To Change Your Story? Hello! Thank you for being integral to Verbal Abuse Journals. Your thoughts and concerns are at the top of my mind every morning when I wake up. I read all of your comments and emails. Some add to my dreams for my future and others remind…

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  • Abuse Affects the Wise

    No one – no one – waits forever. Think good things for yourself because what you think becomes your reality. Dream big and plan flexibly. Envision a life without abuse and no, that life is not necessarily minus your current abuser.

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