Effects of Abuse
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Diverting My Attention: If I Think It’s ME I Won’t See It’s YOU
Diverting my attention from what he was doing by exploiting my vulnerabilities was par for the course. He expertly distracted me from emotional abuse, turning my suspicions that he was hurting me to the idea…
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Calm
No more arguing today, and it’s 7:30 pm. We did talk more today since my last post, so the “no more arguing” bit is significant. We talked about how he is concerned about my abuse…
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Treating Him Like a Science Project–Or a Lab Rat
Okay, I remember the advice. Science project (Observing But Not Participating In My Abuse). Calming down, not to go after it again though. I’m going to wait. And in the meantime, I’m going to write.…
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Arguing Over Nothing
First argument, but I called a break. He was as unhappy about the argument as I was, I think. I’m writing to try to decipher when it started going south and why. I was first…
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Refresher
It’s a good idea to know what the enemy is. Verbal abuse, by nature, attempts to make us forget what we’re fighting. Here are some web pages that I like when I need to remember…
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The Rolling Stones Are Co-Dependent
Actually, whoever wrote The Beast of Burden sounds co-dependent to me. Here’s my interpretation of this fabulous song. This guy says he’ll never be her “beast of burden”, meaning to me that he’s not going…
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Distraction as a Method to Get Out of Trouble
Don’t ask “Did you do this?” if you already know the answer. Doing so allows for confusion and distraction which is a form of verbal abuse.
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Should-ing on Myself Diminishes My Peace
Instead of habitually berating myself and buying make-up presents for the boys, I decided to objectively and constructively analyze yesterday’s temper tantrum.
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Angst
I could lose the day to regret, or I could use the experience as a learning tool. I’m not a monster.
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Setting Boundaries
A boundary is a blueprint of a plan for you to follow. It is not an order given to someone else. No one, not soldiers, not cops, not abusers, not even victims of abuse, must…