The things abusers say and do put you on the defensive, make you feel crazy, and to wonder if you are the abuser in the relationship. Your best ammunition against the things abusers say and do is knowing the answer to What Is Verbal Abuse? If you can say to yourself, “Hey! That’s abuse!” then you’ll more easily detach from the abuse emotionally and find a psychologically or physically safe place. Safety planning can help protect you against things abusers say and do (Hurtful Words Don’t Define You).
The things abusers say and do are designed to control you. Whether abusers say and do these things knowingly or unconsciously, the result is the same: you feel lower than dirt, afraid, and intimidated. In your weakened state, your abuser finds it much easier to gain power over you.
The following statements and actions are common things abusers say and do. Contribute your comments and take a look at everyone else’s comments too.
Name Calling
- Idiot, Stupid Cunt, Go sit in the corner where you belong (dunce)
- Crazy Bitch, Psycho
- Whore, Slut
- Heartless Ho
- Stupid
- Worthless
- Lazy
- Says “woman” or “man” in a sarcastic tone or demeaning tone.
- On the flip side, they may refuse to say your name at all to deny your existence
Intimacy Breakers
- “It is none of your fucking business.”
- “Why don’t you fucking leave?” or “Get the fuck out of my house.”
- “Shut up”
- Says “I don’t care about your feelings.”
- Often leaves you hanging when they promised to do something with you.
- Consistently puts their desires and schedule above yours.
- Breaks up often then comes running back, begging for forgiveness.
- Interrupts you when you’re talking.
Tells You What You’re Doing
- “Yes, why don’t you stuff your feelings inside.”
- “You’ve got your priorities screwed up.”
- “Stop being a drama queen!”
- “Stop crying – we both know you’re faking it to get your way!”
- Tells you what your intentions are, what you intend to do, and what you really meant when you said/did something.
Plays Word Games
- Interrupts you when you’re talking.
- Repeats “your exact words” but takes them out of context or makes up something that you did not say or mean.
- Challenges you to remember “exact words” but you can’t (or tells you you’re wrong) because the conversation is so confusing you don’t know exactly what they’re talking about anymore.
- Changes the subject to divert your attention.
- Tells you what you really mean to say.
- Drones on for hours, repeating the same points, getting nowhere, until you’re so exhausted you want to agree just to get them to be quiet (brainwashing).
- Re-defines words to mean what they want them to mean.
- Denies saying what they said (even if you’re playing it back to them from a digital recorder, they may deny meaning what they obviously meant).
- Uses tricks like abusive anger to get you to be quiet or listen.
Tries to Appear Better Than You
- “You have no money; without me, you’d be lost.”
- “At least I have a job.”
- “You know nothing about the real world!”
- “At least I know how to make friends that matter.”
Insults People And Pets You Love
- “Why don’t you leave, and take your geriatric dog too? I hope he falls dead.”
- “I hope your dog gets killed in the road right in front of you!”
- Uses threatening gestures toward your pets.
- “Your kid is such a sissy!”
- “Your mother left your dad to chase cock and you’re going to do the same to me!”
- “I’m really concerned that your sister will influence you to be a bitch like she is.”
Sexual Insults And Injuries
- Rapes you (it is possible to rape you even if you are married to the abuser).
- Makes you wear clothing that makes you feel uncomfortable.
- “You were just a good fuck.”
- Turns their back to you while laying in bed to show a withdrawal of affection.
- Lies incessantly about porn or cheating, even when faced with proof.
- Makes you feel “dirty” during or after sex with comments they know you don’t like.
- Uses sexual or racial slurs because they know you don’t like them.
- Tells you to go to a party alone and then insults you, withdraws, or sexually assaults you when you come home.
- Knows the meaning and value that you tie with having sex, but breaks up with you right after sex saying they lied about their feelings to get you into bed.
- Uses crude names for your body parts and knows you do not like them.
Insults Your Ideas and Dreams
- The churches, restaurants, movies, etc. that you choose are not good enough.
- Your career interests are “fluffy” or not real jobs.
- Insults the gifts you give or acts disinterested.
- “That is never going to work.”
- Mocks and makes fun of you.
A private place to write it down
If you already know why you’re here, there’s a private log built for exactly this: the Verbal Abuse Incident and Pattern Log. Write things down before you second-guess them, in a document made to stay yours.
Purchase “Recipes Digital Download” $8.99There is also a bundle offer at the end of this article.
They Do Not Care About Your Medical Issues
- You’re hurt after a fight with them and say you should go to the emergency room…the abuser’s response is “Quit your whining and crying and leave”.
- Major medical issue comes up and the abuser unavailable to comfort you or just disappears.
- Acts like a $10 co-pay for your doctor visit is going to break the bank.
- Makes fun of your medications (happy pills, crazy pills, etc.)
- Tells you that depression is in your head and if you appreciated them like you should you wouldn’t be such a sad sack.
Thoughtless of Your Needs
- Makes lunch for themselves without asking if you want any (on purpose).
- Doesn’t help with the kids or household chores.
- Does not ask you about your day.
- Does not start and/or engage in thoughtful communication.
- Keeps you up all night “talking” or raging. Interrupts your sleep for tiny things they could handle alone.
Gifts Are Not From the Heart or Used As Tools
- Gives gifts that did NOT come from the heart, isn’t wrapped, has a price tag on it, tossed at you with no emotion but scorn, etc.
- Gifts given after fights to gain your forgiveness.
- Ignores (“forgets”) your birthday or holidays that are special to you.
Disrespects Your Belongings
- Destroys things that are important to you.
- Destroys or makes you destroy pictures, diaries, letters, or anything else of sentimental value from before the relationship with you.
- Throws away your clothes that either you love or the abuser hates.
- Gaslighting (purposely moves your things or changes your environment and then denies doing it).
- Hides your personal belongings and denies knowing where they are.
- Steals your jewelry, pawns it, then brings another piece home to place in your jewelry box and pretends it is the missing piece.
- Insists you promised to do something that you know you didn’t promise.
- Engages in crazy making behaviors at your expense.
Withholds Financial Information or Money
- Demands that you shop for the household but doesn’t give you enough money to cover necessities.
- Makes you give them your paycheck.
- Doesn’t give you access to the bank accounts.
- Makes you believe that you cannot budget or save, that you waste money, or generally cannot figure out how to handle your financial matters.
- Gives you complete access to the bank accounts and allows you to make financial decisions, but uses your decisions as a tool to verbally and mentally abuse you.
- Closes joint bank accounts with no notice.
- Finds a way to close your bank accounts using your passwords and security information.
Threatens Or Intimidates You
- “Maybe I should just do pot, porn and date other women so you will leave me.”
- “I should run you through the wood chipper out there!”
- “If you don’t shut your ever-runnin’ mouth,…”
- Says “This is YOU!” and hits something or says nothing but you know they’re hitting things to scare you.
- Jerks the steering wheel from you when you’re driving or drives like a crazy person with you in the car.
- Spits on you.
- Threatens to take you to court over issues they know they will lose, but be able to waste your time anyway.
- Seeks attention by threatening suicide. Intimidates you into doing things by threatening suicide.
Abandons and/or Threatens to Abandon You Physically
- Pushes you out of the car and leaves you in a strange place without your personal effects (i.e. cell phone, purse, wallet).
- Takes you to their family’s home far away and then leaves you at their mother’s house for two days while partying with cousins.
- “Maybe I just won’t come home tonight!”
- “I’ll take our kids and leave you on the street!”
Physically Insults or Assaults You
- Spits on you.
- Blocks your exit.
- Drags you.
- Grabs you and makes you stay in one place.
- Hits, punches, or slaps you.
- Kicks you.
- Makes you hold pillows so they can “practice” fighting/self-defense.
- Pinches you
- Squeezes you too tightly.
- Chokes you or puts you in a position where they could easily choke you.
You just read what’s been happening to you.
Here’s somewhere to put it.
Reading a list like this is one thing. Writing down what’s actually happening in your own relationship, in your own words, is another.
That’s what the Verbal Abuse Incident and Pattern Log is for: a private, structured place to record what’s said and done to you, so there’s a record you can trust, even when your memory feels less certain.
What’s inside:
- Quick Capture pages for when you only have thirty seconds and need to get it down before you forget, or before someone’s back in the room.
- Detailed Record pages for later, when you have more time to write.
- Pattern Review pages that help you see what’s repeating, not just what happened once.
- A Summary page, built to hand to an advocate, counselor, doctor, or attorney, without having to explain everything from scratch every time.
It’s not a diagnosis, and it’s not a legal document. It’s a way to keep your own record straight, whether you’re still deciding what this is, still living with it, or getting ready to talk to someone about it.
Privacy. Not everyone needs to hide that they bought this, but every download works the same way regardless. Needing that privacy, or not needing it, has nothing to do with how much what’s happening to you matters.
The download opens with a couple of pages made to look like a recipe file before the real Log begins. PayPal will send you a purchase confirmation email, but even that uses a discreet product name, not the title of what you bought.
Getting it. After you pay through PayPal, you’re brought right back here to a download page where your file is ready and waiting.
Price. $8.99 on its own.
Purchase “Recipes Digital Download” $8.99If you also want the Domestic Violence Safety Plan Workbook, the two together are $18.99, or $3 less than buying them separately. The Safety Plan Workbook covers what to do before, during, and after leaving; the Log covers what to write down along the way. Get one or both, whichever is useful to you right now.
Purchase “Recipes from Mama's Kitchen Bundle” $18.99The file name for the Verbal Abuse Incident and Pattern Log is recipes-mamas-kitchen.pdf and the cover of your downloaded document will say “Recipes from Mama’s Kitchen”. It’s the same for the Domestic Violence Safety Plan Workbook, except the file name is more-recipes-from-mamas-kitchen.pdf and the title showing is “More Recipes from Mama’s Kitchen”.
Written by Kellie Jo Holly Close, who has worked in domestic violence advocacy since founding VerbalAbuseJournals.com in 2008.
Here is my problem. My husband is subtle. It’s manipulative, and subtle. He used to be threatening, and semi physically abusive. He never hit but acted like he was going to. I put an end to that by packing my tiny car, driving 2200 miles to my parents house, and leaving him for 3 months. He agreed to therapy, which naturally was nothing but a joke to him, but I was back before I realized it, and he behaved for a year or two. Now, it’s manipulation. It’s not asking how my day is going, but coming into the house like a wrecking ball announcing what we will be doing for the next hour. It’s interrupting me while I’m trying to say something with something dumb, “watch out for that dog!” when the dog is a block away or “OH! Look at that tree!” just to make the point that what I’m saying isn’t important. Usually while I’m driving. It’s making plans for his kids to come over every Sunday without discussing it with me and never asking if I have plans. Or asking his ex-wife to every holiday and saying, “she won’t come.” She usually doesn’t but it’s the principal of the thing. It’s acting and sometimes telling me that my artwork isn’t important because HE’s the one that makes the money, while I do half of his job for him. It’s pretending, or not pretending, (hard to tell) that he can’t do something, or that he isn’t feeling well enough to get his own glass of water and various other menial crap. It’s keeping me away from my 80 year old parents because, “you can’t go home, I need you here because I can’t do anything.” It’s, “have you put in my grades yet?” or “I can’t carry my books to school because my walker is awkward with papers in the pouch.” When I’ve been asking him to retire for 5 years now because he really isn’t capable of doing his job. On the other hand, he will be home all day, and expect to be entertained. It really is a no win situation. Narcissism is horrendous for the person having to deal with it. It may be subtle, but I am very depressed because of it. When you are in it, you get so used to the whole ugly thing, that it becomes your normal. I wonder if when this is over, I will be so messed up I will never be able to be happy.
So, my boyfriend used to date my cousin when they were teenagers. Now in 2019, I had asked her if it was ok with her if I started dating him. She had told me that he gets a little carried away with the whole relationship, for me to be careful, but of course, I didn’t listen to her. Yes. K, So May 19th we started dating, oh and he was in love from the get go…I couldn’t stand to be away from him. My job was 2 parishes over from where he was living at. I would drive an hour and a half every night to come back to him. The weekends he would come with me. He stole money from my best friend, which means we got kicked out. He would constantly be on my phone. His friend and him were leaving the next morning to go offshore and I was driving them…He starts throwing girls up in my face saying that aw he’s been with this one and that one, then says one of my friends name. I was like really well now I’ll have to get in touch with her. Then was like No don’t say nothing to her, for like a whole hour. Then, he goes to lay down, and I’m talking to his friend, who actually knows my cousins, The bf comes in there and starts accusing me of having sex with the friend. Needless to say, He was drinking and doing drugs, and I ended up having to drive him back to his mothers house. Then he breaks his phone and it’s all my fault. Constantly, breaking up with me and getting back together, Tore my gear shifter out of my truck, threw things at me. Called me disgusting names. Makes up lies about me to other people. Then expects me to Love him and cherish him. We have been kicked out of every home that let us stay, and of course who’s fault was it, mine! He says Mean and hurtful things to me on a daily basis, and then doesn’t remember saying it. He is currently in rehab for his drug and alcohol addiction. I have went back to my daughters house. Got my Job back. I have lost my vehicle, he pawned my engagement & wedding rings, I nearly lost my mother and brother. Because I couldn’t see what he was doing to my life. And that I was a victim of emotional and verbal abuse. We made it to 5 months of dating. I still talk to him daily, and the other day he made a snide comment. And really, I sit here thinking, Do I really Love him, Do I really want to go back to that? The answer is NO!!! How can someone say they Love you and treat you like a piece of shit…DAILY. I don’t want to move out of my Husbands house away from my child…If I do that, again, I will Never have a good solid relationship with her. I’m supposed to be setting the example for her, and showing her that’s its not ok to be treated like that, EVER.
My boyfriend scrutinizes every little thing I do. We could be good for days then all of a sudden he goes off over the smallest things and then we’re arguing for hours on hours. For instance, last night I didn’t immediately give him a kiss when I came in from work. He said something about it and I leaned in to kiss him, but he said he didn’t want a kiss now seeing that I forgot. Afterwards, he started blowing up about he doesn’t feel wanted and he’s leaving, etc. I reminded him that there were times he didn’t IMMEDIATELY greet me with affection after returning home, and I did not “spazz” out on him or go on for hours and hours. He also always throws up the past or people I dated in the past and say things like “you didn’t treat them how you treat me,” or “you cared about and listened to them but you don’t care about me.” I told him I do listen and he went on to ask me what he told me about what happened at work a few days ago.. I told him what happened but of course it wasn’t verbatim and he swore up and down I was wrong and that wasn’t the same situation when in fact it was… He then pushed over a dresser smh. He has threatened to harm himself many times and I know it’s just to make me feel bad or make me stay. He makes me feel crazy and is driving me crazy with the yelling, screaming, breaking things, accusing, and always bringing up the past. I want to leave but we depend on each other. I will admit I cheated on humble in the early stages of our relationship which I eventually admitted and to this day he still uses those situations against me but I haven’t cheated on him since then which has been a couple years and I even caught him red handed once and he denied it still and HIT ME because I said I didn’t believe him and started to walk away from him. I don’t know if he’s a narcissist or has a social disorder or just a psycho. I really wish he would get help. Im not perfect but I would never do to him what he does to me mentally.
I believe I am in an abusive relationship. My boyfriend is depressed and his life is out of control. When I first met him (5 1/2 months ago) I had no idea he had a pill addiction. Now, it seems the pills have made it so he is nearly at rock bottom. I have tried everything I can to help him. But all I get are lies. I stand up for myself and dont bend into his manipulations, but I feel sorry for him. Literally, just now he walked out because I wouldn’t have sex with him. The night before we discussed our relationship and I told him how his lies, drama, pulling me in and then pushing me away have made me build walls. I dont feel I can be vulnerable with him. That we need to work on trust. This morning he asks for sex. I told him no as we need to work on trust and I told him we talked about this last night. He starts the whole “you make me feel like shit, this isn’t unconditional love, I just going to keep my mouth shut because everything I say and do is wrong, basically you’re saying we aren’t in a relationship” and on and on. All I said was I dont want thg he pattern we have had to keep going. That we need to work on building trust and our relationship. And I get the pity party and my words twisted. He left, the same way he left last night. Last night within 10 minutes he was asking to come back. I let him asking him if he was able to have a mature talk about our relationship. We talked and this morning it’s like last night didnt happen. He didnt get what he wanted and he started in on this self loathing act and then the attack as co on me. I dont fall for his manipulation tactics and he runs. I am so tired if the roller coaster. I want to help him but not at the expense of my own sanity. I give great props to the men and women who got out of chaos of the abuse. To those still in the abuse, I hope you find a way to a better life. Trust me, your life and happiness are worth it. God bless you all.
As I’m typing this, my BF texted me. I am not going to respond and am close to blocking the number. I’m sure I’ll get text all day of him telling me he loves me, how I’m the only good thing in his life, how he doesn’t want to lose me. The pattern is real:/
Well we’ll let’s not be too hasty here people woman are just as capable of doing the same thing. Tell me why the first two years were great when I was paying for everything including her 3 major self habbits. Witch two of them I had myself. But then I lost my job due to lack of work and it went very fast down the drain.. then she tells me as I’m on a viggerous search for more work “let me go to work untill you find another job” seeing how “our” little girl who she asked to be a part of so in reality my little girl was too young for school and also couldn’t talk to tell either one of us what had happened that day in a daycare so we weren’t comfortable leaving here in one. So time goes by were in the miserable small town no freakin work it comes down to BAMM WERE BEING EVICTED LACK OF PAY,.. SO I SAID LOOK IM GOING TO BORROW MONEY TO HELP ON A NEW DOWN FIRST LAST WHATEVER TO GET US INTO A NEW HOME, A NEW START A NEW COMMUNITY A NEW VERIATY OF EVERYTHING and in one months time if neither one of us can come up on a job to pay the rent then there is a serious serious problem. Bam again we lost the house now this is not her fault but what weird to me was that any kind of money that she had ever come across in wichever way she absolutely had to go to the casino. Witch without a doubt became the 4th habbit of hers.. now we’re homeless I’m literally doing everything I can going to the county trying to get state help but she never wanted to be on any of the paperwork she said so I was stuck doing all that by myself, well me being who I have to be for my little girl, I found us a place… Was it the best of spots? HELL NO!! BUT IT WAS A ROOF OVER OUR HEADS AND A PLACE TO PUT OUR STUFF UNTIL WE COULD GET ON OUR OWN 4 FEET AGAIN IN WITCH I WAS HIGHLY MISTAKEN. NOW THIS PLACE WAS AN ABANDONED HOUSE THAT HAD BEEN THE TOWNS DUMP SPOT FOR YEARS SO IT NEEDED SOME DEFFINATE WORK TO BE DONE.. so I started first built us an actual room to shelter us from anybody and to have our own space witch for a while we had to make it into a little kitchen/bedroom for us untill I could move along further.. so I continued I did what I could with what I had and very little to absolutely NO HELP. Now mind you this house was disgusting full of rodent, bird,dog, and possibly even human shit….. It’s a 2 bedroom cabbin style house with a 3rd added on room on the kitchen side.. so obviously the only way to make this happen was to separate the house… Block off the side we are not using and build on our side for now… So I got our little side going minuse the bathroom because unfortunately it was going to take some serious time money and effort to make it happen. Luckily there was a motor home parked on the property and I was able to utilize it so I did, And That was our bathroom for the time being. And you know what? It fuckin worked and was better than nothing.. keep in mind that water was not free. I had to do some things im not proud of to make sure thattour water tank 1100 gallons was filled every 2 or 3 days, and if for any reason I wasn’t able to make it happen I still had backups. And then out of no where the BOTH of us one day after the next (me first) got a phone call about work. Well she then told me that she wanted to go to work and that was final. So with my daughter being MY daughter who would I be to tell her no or that she needs to stay home with her? So off to work she went…. Now loner story short. Here we are August 2019 and she started work in November of 2018 were still in this nasty house no money to move or any saved up for any emergency that could possibly arise. She been makeing anywhere from 750$-900$ checks from work bi-weekly anywhere from 1500-1800$ U.S.D A month.. she spends roughly 500 if not more per/month on Uber or taxi drivers. But when i found a babysitter one day and went and traded 2 days of solid honest full days of work for a running vehicle she literally didn’t even go look at it. Asked me if I was joking when I handed her the keys I said no she smiled said “thanks” and that was that never once even went and looked… Of course feeling some type of way now I go and throw a little fit just fed up with the bullshi and she finally trys the car. Leaves the house I tell her ass go straight to the gas station for gas and you’ll be fine. She skips it well then after she gets off work at 2 am after closing her store at 12 midnight she calls because it won’t start I take some gas down fires right up and DRIVE IT HOME with her stating she didn’t want it and fuck it because it was a car that everyone knew because of past owners witch to me shouldn’t fucking matter it’s a vehicle a way to save you that Uber or taxi fee…. But she wasn’t having it so it sat there and rot away and got chewed up by rats. So scrapped it just to get some kind of money oming to the house to build it… Witch to this day I’ve gotten a total of 18.38$ from her for anyparts because she says she doesn’t want to waist her money in this home that we (I) am building because she didn’t want to stay…. Basically telling me that the ereffo I put in was nothing at all and makeing sure it was known that I was a Deadbeat father who did nothing all while telling her people (family friends co-workers) that all I did was nothing but beat her up and mooched off of her dime….. Meanwhile I’m stranded at this place no money no vehicle no transportation and even over a year no cell phone as she had all of the above tho… Now keep in mind the deal I made to get this place witch was the only place that I could come up with on my own at the time. Was that I work our rent, mind you it was a rent to own!! He didn’t make anything on it was just told there was only 8000 left on back taxes
And he would make the bank payments just as long as I would work on the property. Also keep in mind that the house sits on a 6 1/2 acre FENCED in yard with two other structures on the property and was deemed residential OR commercial as we were outside of city limits, well one day in my hell hole I call life doing everything that i possibly could with everything that a possibility had a knok come upon the door on the side of the house we live on it’s CPS and because at this time I’m now lived here for the better part of a year and the house was still not completely up to par my daughter was taken from me. And again I’ve Been left to deal with it on my own as she still gets her decent checks, now I’m stuck here no vehicle my daughter not here to teach or just help me pass the time. She still calls Uber or taxi still goes to casino ON PAYDAY SAYS SHE WINS 500$ THEN COMES HOME now not even 2 weeks not EVEN 10 DAYS later I’ve done everything so far to comply with the case workers so visitation was scheduled.. now mind you this little girl is my HERO. If it weren’t for her I don’t know where I would be anyhow I get visitation so I asked her if SHE COULD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE purchase a hotel room so we could have a nice visit and things would be good.. she goes to THE CHEAPEST HOTEL 78$ a night was charged the 78$ and a 100$ deposit she would get back in the morning at check out. But then holy FUCK BAM!! Her card was declined! Insufficient funds and that was after she even tried to over draft her account!!! How could this possibly be?? I mean you got paid 850$ check went to the casino that night and “won” 500$ leaving a total of 1,350$ yes ONE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS AND 10 DAYS LATER YOUR BEING DECLINED? SHE BLAMES IT ON PAYING FOR APPIAPPLICA FOR PROPERTY SHE WENT AND LOOKED AT.. SO I DID MY FOOT WPRK FOUND THE APLIAPPLICA FEE TO ONLY BE 30$ AND THEN ALSO FOUND THAT SHE HAD GOTTEN A FULL REFUND FROM ANOTHER PROPERTY PLACE…… BUT YHEN LIES TO ME… COMES HOME STAYS OUT AND ABOUT DOING WHATEVER SHE DOES ALL NIGHT LONG NOT COMING TO BED, NEVER KISSING ME NEVER REPLYING TO ANY OF MY MESSAGES HIDING HER PHONE FROM ME HAS LIKE 20 EMAILS AND THEN TELLS ME THAT IM JUST CRAZY AND THAT ITS ALL ME AND THAT SHES DOING EVERYTHING SHE CAN WHILE STILL NOT PAYING ANY RENT STILL NOT HELPING ME TO MAKE THIS PLACE COMFORTABLE OR AT LEAST LIVEABLE WHILE WERE HERE AND THEN BLAMES IT ON THE PROPERTY SAYING ITS CURSED OR TELLING ME THAT ITS MY FRIENDS FAULTS THAT IM SUCH A P.O.S ALL WHILE LITTERALLY TELLING EVERYONE THAT I BEAT HER….NEVER…..THAT I TOOK ALL HER MONEY SO THAT HER CO-WORKERS WOULD FEEL BAD AND FRONT HER SOME CASH UNTILL SHE GOT PAID AGAIN… NOW ALSO KEEP IN MIND SHES A FUCKING MANAGER WHERE SHE WORKS ASKING THE PISS AUNTS TO BORROW ….(NEVER TOUCHED ONE BIT.) AND BECAUSE SHE KNEW THEY WOULD DO IT SEEING HOW SHE WAS THEIR MANAGER…. SHE TOOK ALL ADVANTAGES THAT SHE COULD EVEN MAKING HER OWN……. WHY DO I STAY? 2 REASONS 1 MY DAUGHTER ALREADY HAD HER BIO MOM WALK AWAY FROM THE PICTURE SO IT KILLS ME TO TAKE THIS WOMAN AWAY WHO SHE KNOWS AS MOMMY…… AND 2 IM DROP DEAD IN FEAR OF WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK SHE HAS TOLD OTHER AND MANIPULATED INTO THEIR MINDS ABOUT ME… I KNOW FOR SURE FACT SHE SAYS THAT I BEAT HER I SEEN THAT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES ON TEXT MESSAGE. TO A “CO-WORKER” GIRL THAT IS ON DISABILITY WHO MRE THEN LIKELY BRINGS IN SSI. NOW ALSO ON HER PHONE IV FOUND TEXT MESSAGE STATING “ILL TRADE YOU SOME ***** FOR A RIDE TO WORK AND BACK HOME” OR ALSO LOOKING UP HOW MUCH A CALL GIRL MAKES OR AT LESBIAN TEEN PORN… ANYHOW IM TERRIFIED OF WHO THis GIRL has bound to her non needed mercy, and what all she will do or try to do to me if I were to just leave her….
I’ve seen previous email messages from her to her ex telling him that she was going to get him in the worst way possible. However she could and even that she would lie to get him caught up. Since then she’s opened about 20 different emails deleting the one that had those conversations and continuously hiding her phone and locking me out of it knowing as she said to me once that I was just getting into her phone to try and get dirt on her…. Question is? What dirt could be that bad???? Now even trying to talk toher about anything it’s instantly a huge fight no matter what I say or do. Then it moves to her just laying in bed covering herself up saying I know bro I’m just the worst POS and blah blah mocking me like it’s a game with a huge smirk on her face closing her eyes going to sleep. Even tho she asked me “what’s wrong with you now” ? So I sat down looked her dead in the eyes and asked. Do you remember 3 years ago when we first got together we had long talks all the time and one of them was regarding to how important it was in a relationship to make the other half feel wanted? The moment I stopped talking it was a fuck it game over!! With the what the fuck did or didn’t I do now? Or wow wtf i thoi thought everything was going just fine these past few weeks! Now I didn’t even say anything bad at all just asked a simple question! How and the hell am I the bad guy for that?? I’m at a total loss of words or actions wtf do I do? I mean for real???? Here we are August 17th 2019 at 9:52 am she’s sleeping and I have nobody to turn to and don’t even know where to begin to look for the help that I need or answers to my questions. Now I AM NOT GOING TO PUBLICLY SAY HER NAME AS THAT COULD POSSIBLEY LEAD TO A SLANDER CASE.. OR GOD KNOWS WHAT…. BUT IF ANYONE HAS ANY HELP IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. AND ADVICE TO ME IS BETTER THEN THE NOTHING THAT I GET NOW…