Separate Selfishness and Self-Interest
I think I stumbled across the difference between true selfishness and protecting my self-interests.
If I am acting selfishly, I will do what makes me happy and take no responsibility for the outcome of my choice.
If I am acting out of self-interest, I am willing to take responsibility for my choice. Self-interest does not interfere with my ability to cooperate; it allows for mistakes. I can respond constructively to any situation my act of self-interest produces.
If I am acting out of selfishness, then I don’t care that someone else may be hurt, and if they are, I blame them for feeling the way they feel in order to diminish my influence and responsibility for the situation.
So when I “make myself happy” it isn’t that I don’t care what happens because of my decision. When I make myself happy, I do so from an inner point of what will help me retain my balance. Then, because I’ve maintained my inner balance, I can handle any consequence of my action compassionately, honestly, and with an inner willingness to change something if it needs to change.
If I act from a point of selfishness, I give up the ability to change. If I give up my ability to change, then I lose the opportunity to grow as a person. If I don’t grow, then I may as well be dead.
So, self-interest keeps me alive, keeps me moving forward, and ideally guides my decisions to help me become a better person.
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May 30th, 2009 at 8:44 AM
You are a good person. I wish you would stop analyzing every thought you have – it has GOT to be emotionally draining. You already know what is right and what is wrong. You shouldn’t have to think about it every step of the way.
Just do what you know should be done! You DESERVE to be happy. You DESERVE to take time for yourself. You DESERVE to live the life YOU want!
Stop analyzing the decisions that revolve around the basic nature of a happy life. You DESERVE a happy life. Just do it.