Verbal and Emotional Abuse Help and Support
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Codependency Makes Me Want to Fix Things for Them
My therapist presented an alternative solution, one that actually makes sense and would have cut out all the drama. She said that Marc’s feelings of guilt were HIS to deal with. It sounded harsh to me at first…didn’t I CAUSE Marc’s bad feelings? Wasn’t I responsible for this whole mess anyway? Shouldn’t I do everything…
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The Army and Domestic Violence and Abuse
For the love of Pete, please, Army spouses, understand that you CAN report domestic abuse in your home WITHOUT your soldier losing their career! Army policy may require counseling, classes, and interviews, but your report WILL NOT ruin their career. Hell, the Army may mark your report as “unsubstantiated” like they did my first one,…
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Therapy With Abuser Is A Waste of My Time And His
The therapist and Will agreed that women do not keep to the subject. Although that may be true some of the time (I am not above embracing a negative stereotype if it helps, which it rarely does), I am not the only person in my house who suffers from that particular compulsion.
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Counseling
quietone said, “But in some ways trying to force him to be committal about counseling is asking him to correct everything before he even goes in for his first session. It’s also asking him to acknowledge that his is wrong. He won’t acknowledge that right now but if the counselor is any good he might…
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My Boundaries Keep Others Out and Me In
I’ve been rather silent the past few days because of two things. One, another conversation with my husband in which I “lost it”. Two, my older son completely blew my mind with something he did. Not a good thing. Usually I would have immediately vomited these things onto this blog for all the world to…
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How to Stop Panicking Over What May Happen
Is it possible for me to stop panicking over what may happen? I’m panicking now. My internal panic machine wants to take over. It is hard to slow down or think. The source of the panic is my fear of what may happen when Will comes home. All good panics have, at their root, an unknowable, unanswerable question. Hence, the…
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Declutter with a Theme
Make Your Home More You I am getting rid of some possessions that reflect “the old me” and keeping ones that project “who I am, was at heart, and always will be.” If something I own does not support the idea that I am “strong and vibrant”, then it is finding a new home. Self-Care…
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Abusers React to Boundaries Poorly
Abusers Will Feel a Certain Way How do abusive people typically react to you enforcing your boundaries? It is likely to make them angry. Why? In essence, your boundary cuts them off from the core of you, and abusive people do not like that at all. Their control over you relies on you being open…
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Better than "It hurts my feelings when you…"
A comment on the previous post helped me to realize that I’ve got to come up with a strategy for dealing with my husband that doesn’t include telling him that he’s hurt me. He doesn’t care. Or rather, he’s glad that I’m hurt because that means he has the upper hand. I’m ripe for travelling down…