Crazymaking and Gaslighting
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‘You Hate Men!’ Is Diversion . . . and Retraumatization
Telling me that my rape is the source of our problems is a diversion. It turns me away from whatever Will is doing and causes me to examine myself. By blaming my past for our…
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What Does Living with Domestic Abuse Feel Like?
Living with domestic abuse feels like you’re carrying around a 500-pound weight. Except you don’t realize you’re carrying the weight. You don’t remember how much grander life felt before you picked up the weight, because…
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About Abuse
What Are Other Words for Abuse? You might hear abuse called many things: Have a specific question? Start with the domestic abuse and violence FAQs. Who Is Abused? Abusers target any person (adult or child)…
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Distraction & Manipulation
My husband accused our son of drinking Jack Daniels, but wanted to do nothing about it. I sense an ulterior motive to distract me from his abuse of me.
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Hope is Worry Backwards
Hope is wonderful when it comes to hoping it won’t rain. But if you’re hoping it won’t rain, aren’t you also worrying that it will? Hope is not good to base your life around. “I…
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Resisting Persuasion: AKA How to Verbally Abuse Someone
WHAT? I asked myself why “resisting persuasion” and “verbal abuse tactics” were one and the same. The only logical explanation that I can currently come up with is that he uses these tactics because he…
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I See the Best in You
And I remember that he paused, maybe only for half a second, but as if he realized how crazy this argument was. As if, in that half second, he came face to face with the…
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Gaslighting Abuse Means War
Perhaps I am so important to him that he feels we should be as one mind. Unfortunately, this thought seems to translate into we should be of his mind and “my mind should disappear and…
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Anonymity Compromised
My husband found my website and blog. I figured he already had found them, but I suppose he just wasn’t interested or didn’t make the connection between what he saw me doing at home and…