Crazymaking and Gaslighting
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What Does Living with Domestic Abuse Feel Like?
Living with domestic abuse feels like you’re carrying around a 500-pound weight–except you don’t realize you’re carrying the weight. You don’t remember how much grander life felt before you picked up the weight, because adding it to your burdens happened gradually. Imperceptibly, Abuse built its home on your shoulders. Effects of Living With Domestic Abuse…
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About Abuse
What Are Other Words for Abuse? You might hear abuse called many things: Who Is Abused? Abusers target any person (adult or child) regardless of age, race, religion, education level, IQ, economic background, culture, or community status. Who Gets It Worse, Men or Women? As a society, we tend to assume that abusers are men…
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Distraction & Manipulation
My husband accused our son of drinking Jack Daniels, but wanted to do nothing about it. I sense an ulterior motive to distract me from his abuse of me.
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Hope is Worry Backwards
Hope is wonderful when it comes to hoping it won’t rain. But if you’re hoping it won’t rain, aren’t you also worrying that it will? Hope is not good to base your life around. “I hope my life improves.” Good. That’s cool. I hope your life improves, too. I’m not going to do anything about…
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Resisting Persuasion: AKA How to Verbally Abuse Someone
WHAT? I asked myself why “resisting persuasion” and “verbal abuse tactics” were one and the same. The only logical explanation that I can currently come up with is that he uses these tactics because he feels that I am trying to persuade HIM into thinking or doing something that he doesn’t want to do.
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I See the Best in You
And I remember that he paused, maybe only for half a second, but as if he realized how crazy this argument was. As if, in that half second, he came face to face with the realization that he was behaving erratically and irrationally.
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Gaslighting Abuse Means War
Perhaps I am so important to him that he feels we should be as one mind. Unfortunately, this thought seems to translate into we should be of his mind and “my mind should disappear and stop causing so many problems.
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Crazy-Making In Short
Crazy-making is your abuser’s ability to throw you off balance and keep you teetering. Abusers accomplish this by saying one thing and then swearing they said the opposite or didn’t say it at all, by talking the talk but not walking the walk, by claiming that you are crazy and unbalanced, etc. If you’re a…
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Anonymity Compromised
My husband found my website and blog. I figured he already had found them, but I suppose he just wasn’t interested or didn’t make the connection between what he saw me doing at home and what was going online…or whatever. At first he was angry, but now he isn’t. At least, that’s what he says,…
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Thinking About It
The idea to make a website documenting the verbal abuse and my reactions/thoughts relating to it came to me around the time I realized it was happening – about October or November of last year (2008). I never hid the fact that I was making a website about verbal abuse from my husband. In fact,…