Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

How to Stop Abuse


  • Ending an Abusive Relationship

    Ending an Abusive Relationship

    Ending an abusive relationship begins by telling someone what you are going through. Don’t continue suffering in silence. Talk about it.

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  • Attended Domestic Violence Support Groups

    Attended Domestic Violence Support Groups

    Abusers, when you think about it, are truly ridiculous people. Everything they saw we are, they are. Abusers project their worst fears about themselves onto us and then hate us for representing their fear. Support groups help you see this and can give back your sense of humor.

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  • How I Left An Abusive Relationship Interview

    How I Left An Abusive Relationship Interview

    How do you get out of an abusive relationship? You just leave. When the thought to leave strikes you, act on it, go. You deal with the emotions and hardships after you’ve left, one by one, just as you deal with all life challenges. Working out a safety plan in advance, just in case, doesn’t…

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  • Reaching Out Doesn’t Guarantee Immediate Help: Do It Anyway

    Reaching Out Doesn’t Guarantee Immediate Help: Do It Anyway

    Many people reach out for help with domestic abuse, but sometimes they reach out for help to the wrong people, or they reach out to the right people but become discouraged. Don’t give up if the domestic abuse hotline you call or friend you tell about the abuse doesn’t meet your needs. Keep reaching for…

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  • I Told Everyone About the Abuse

    I Told Everyone About the Abuse

    This outreach benefits me every day. I no longer feel alone or voiceless. Because of reaching out on my blog, I found the courage to locate domestic violence organizations in my local area for face to face help. Groups and counselors who know about domestic abuse are invaluable to recovery (and simply getting through the…

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  • Sobriety Fixes Nothing

    Sobriety Fixes Nothing

    Drinking only lowers inhibitions – it lets you be “more you” and gives the abuser permission to abuse.

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  • I’m Hoping The Abuse Will Resolve Itself

    I’m Hoping The Abuse Will Resolve Itself

    Hope is wonderful when you wish for it not to rain on a picnic. Hope is grand for tossing the dice. Hope does not work when you want to end domestic abuse.

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  • Observing, Not Participating In, My Abuse

    Observing, Not Participating In, My Abuse

    Therefore, I am finding that I am an emotional chameleon. I must learn to turn off my emotions and the thought train they trigger when I recognize abuse to protect myself and begin “observation mode”. This is not going to work for the long haul. I do not want to live my life connecting and…

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  • Public Sector Counseling at DSS

    Public Sector Counseling at DSS

    She has been wonderful! I’ve been to her three times, and each time she was able to point out a valuable issue for me to examine. Issues that are MINE, not his. She’s teaching me to think about myself, what I want, what I see for myself in the future. The last meeting, she asked…

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  • Set Personal Boundaries

    Set Personal Boundaries

    I Didn’t Understand Personal Boundaries No one ever pointed out to me that we each have personal boundaries. I knew when I didn’t like someone standing too close to me, but the idea that individuals can and do set emotional boundaries confounded me. I do set boundaries with friends, strangers, family members…I mean, I don’t…

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