This entry is one day out of the journal I kept while I was still in the marriage. The whole thing, in order, is the book: My Abusive Marriage . . . and what i’m doing in it. Or read the first pages if you want to see whether it’s for you.
at least
i am no longer a mess
but i may be becoming a new kind of
crazy.
hazy. unpredictable.
but no longer unfortunate.
no longer in ruins.
edging out of the confusion
i dare look to a horizon i didn’t notice before.
like the old horizon, there is nothing discernible there.
nothing special.
unlike the old horizon, i want to walk toward it
instead of sitting here,
motionless,
hopeless.
i like the new horizon
even though there is a possibility
that it too is nothing special.
at least it is not terrifying.
Posted in the Categories of: Effects of Abuse, During My Abusive Marriage, Domestic Violence Problems