Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

April’s Story of Abuse

April lives with an abusive man who has hit her and abused their dog. But she says she also loves him for all the sweetness in him. This is April's story.

How April Realized Her Partner Abused Her

He calls me names like bitch, cunt, slut, whore, lazy, fat.

Words April Chose to Describe the Emotional Abuse

Anger, Embarrassment and Pain

April’s Story of Abuse

April lives with an abusive man who has hit her and abused their dog. But she says she also loves him for all the sweetness in him. This is April's story.When he doesn’t get his way, he calls me down and makes threats about moving out and leaving me. Says he’s gonna pack up and leave, isn’t going to eat, won’t take training, will deliberately fail a test, abandon our dog somewhere, you name it, he will use it to hurt me.

If I miss a turn to his pot dealers house, he gets mad and tells me to forget it, even if I say I can just go around the block to remedy the situation. He will pout and refuse to get out of the car when we do arrive.

He gets mad…

  • if we are having something for dinner that he doesn’t want.
  • if he doesn’t get his pop on a daily basis.
  • when I ask him if he wants to do a paid odd job for my work.
  • if his cheque isn’t ready on time.

He complains about everything all the time. Never positive comments about anything; just ugly, negative comments all the time.

He throws the dog off his lap in the car if he gets mad when I call him on his behaviour. One time, when our dog was a pup, he got mad and threw him against the side of the house. It took him about fifteen minutes of calling him to get the dog to trust him again.

He used to drink and it was way worse. He quit after many failed attempts but the asshole was still there when he blew up. I never know when it will happen. It’s like walking through a minefield.

None of my friends like him.

His brothers are all the same way. They all disrespect their mother. Very dysfunctional home. Neglected. Alcoholic. Physical abuse.

He only hit me once. Slapped me across the face while drunk.

I am very happy he quit drinking but he threatens to drink when he gets mad.

Why Do I Stay with Him?

I fell in love with the sweet side of him. He always…

  • saves tidbits of his meat for our dog.
  • baby talks and plays with our dog.
  • hates that commercial, where one old lady doesn’t have unlimited oxygen like the other does with her unlimited oxygen pack that they are selling.
  • holds doors for elders and moms with kids.
  • rubs my back if I am in pain.
  • buys me little things as a surprise, like a chocolate bar or what have you.

But the fly in the soup is his temper. When I get fed up and try to throw him out, he apologizes and doesn’t leave. Whenever he threatens to leave, he never makes good on it. Always comes back and apologizes.

His mom drank while he was in the womb. He has ADHD and I suspect dyslexia. Low self-esteem. His brothers are all alcoholics. All addicted to pot. All manipulators.

I hold out hope because I refuse to fail. I don’t want to be beaten by an idiot.

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See Also:

Things Abusers Say and Do to Gain Power Over You


Choosing to Stay in an Abusive Relationship

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