These quotes come from people who wrote to this site about their own relationships. Some had already left. Some were still living with it the day they wrote. None of them are famous, and none of these lines were written to be quoted.
They are sorted by where the writer was standing at the time. First: Short Quotes cover the full arc. Then: Not sure it was abuse. Living with it. The moment it became clear. Getting out. After. Start anywhere. Every quote links to the full story it came from.
Short Quotes From Domestic Abuse Survivors
I thought that abuse was only serious if it was physical.
Casey
To figure out I was being abused, I needed a book.
Gabi
It is ever so subtle and ever so overt.
Ali
I have no scars on my body to show the police. My soul is scarred.
Ann
I am a woman. I am a mother. I am beautiful, and I’m being abused.
Jessica
I guess people don’t often think of men as victims of abuse, but I’m one.
Mick
I knew I was being abused because I started becoming an abuser.
Kate
The real reason you stay is that you fear the loss of yourself.
Boring
I hid my phone in my bra when he was in another room looking for it.
KareMarie
I slept with my cell phone and keys in the front of my jeans just in case, and yes, I slept fully dressed so I could run if I had to.
Robin
I left 13 years ago. I feel amazing.
Anne
I can breathe.
Marie P
Not Sure It Was Abuse
Living With It
These are the days themselves. What it is like inside the relationship, described by people who were living it.
Any given day I could wake up to Prince Charming or to unhappy and going-to-ruin-your-day-and-blame-you-for-everything Tyrant.
Leslie
All the time I feel like walking on eggshells and trying to “correct” my sentence before I speak just so to avoid him getting pissed off if the words I say is “wrong” to his perception.
Elana
The name calling started out as a small thing and now its a daily thing…it’s my life.
Katy
He just came down as I was writing this and of course asked what I was writing because I closed the computer and I told him it was personal but I know I will be punished for it later as usual.
Connie
I just despise him while I love him.
Jill
I wanted to leave but I felt as though I were in a prison.
Cait
I have no scars on my body to show the police. My soul is scarred.
Ann
I am a woman. I am a mother. I am beautiful, and I’m being abused.
Jessica
I guess people don’t often think of men as victims of abuse, but I’m one.
Mick
We grew up thinking this was normal. Dads were scary men.
Joe
It was like there was a second ‘me’ watching the other one all the time to make sure she didn’t slip up. What kind of a life is that?
Rita
There was a place in my head, he could not reach and that’s where I stayed during his rants and raves. That place saved my life.
Cathi
I have to choose the solution that sucks the least.
Lisa
It always feels like there is no good time to leave.
Susanna
The Moment It Became Clear
Getting Out
After
Leaving Abuse Quotes
Angela Lee – “Never believe you are in control. That is a form of denial. He can and will go ‘that far’. It isn’t the end of your life. Yes, you got beat, yes you he raped you, ruined a part of your life and you may lose everything, jobs, friends, belongings. That crap means nothing. Absolutely nothing. You have an awesome life waiting for you. Go get it!”
Paula – “I left the rings he gave me in one of the dresser drawers. I wanted as few romantic gestures clouding my decision to leave for good this time. (I had left two other times before but returned.) I didn’t engage him when he raged. I remained silent and calm.”
Casey – “[When planning to leave], I was just walking around like a zombie…I really had no idea what I was doing.. But the best thing that I did do was leave and get the hell out of there. I have no regrets.”
Jennifer – “I followed through this time with going. I quit my job of over 10 years. I gave everything he had back. I didn’t want any of it.”
Angela Lee – “Due to the trauma I lost 25 pounds off of my 5-foot frame getting down to 98 pounds. I have a serious arrhythmia which unabated will probably lead to a premature heart attack. I am barely 34 years old. Despite how tragic this seems, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. My friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers all came together to support me. I am very blessed.”
Doneta – “It’s a process. Once you’re free you really need to take time to rebuild yourself, don’t jump into another relationship. Heal before you move on.”
Jennifer – “I was over it. I had enough. I didn’t want to live that way anymore.”
Jim – “I was abusive too. It was a shitty relationship. I wanted her to love me but I didn’t know how to show her love or help her without being a complete jerk.”
Kate – “I knew I was being abused because I started becoming an abuser. He would say mean things to me & yell at me & we would fight, I would end up hitting him because I got so mad & sad.”
KareMarie – “I grabbed my car keys ahead of time and my phone, otherwise he would of smashed my phone and not given me my keys.”
Paula – “I left the rings he gave me in one of the dresser drawers. I wanted as few romantic gestures clouding my decision to leave for good this time. (I had left two other times before but returned.) I didn’t engage him when he raged. I remained silent and calm.”
Peacock Lady – “I left in 1981. I live a happy and rich life, I have my own home and work in the field of domestic violence and sexual assault. I look forward to each day.”
Sara – “We had a relationship like no other. He was my best friend, my lover, and my soul mate. It was perfect bliss…when he wasn’t hitting me, pulling my hair, choking me, calling me names, kicking me, throwing things at me, scaring me…when I wasn’t trying to explain every single minute of my life or delay at work, calls from friends, sick calls at work, and bruises/injuries. Yes, apart from that, it was perfect bliss.”
Sara – “I was very scared, I didn’t know if he would try to stop me. He had always threatened to kill me if I ever left him, so I made him think I would still be with him even when I went to college.”
Sheri – “[My therapist] said to me ‘OK, let’s just say [your daughters] do end up marrying someone like him. When the abuse starts they’ll think “Mom stayed, I suppose that’s the right thing to do.”’ That’s when I realized that I was setting a frightening example.”
Gipsy – “If you know, deep down that you deserve better, leave. It is going to be a long road and it is going to be difficult, but you will make it, I promise you that, and when you look back on your life a few months from now you are going to be so grateful that you have finally made a choice for YOU. You ARE important and you DESERVE to be loved, but only you can make that choice.”
Boring – “My sense of self was disappearing like I was falling into a hole of nothingness. I was only something in relation to him.”
Sarah – “[I left] Eighteen months ago. Happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”
Living with Abuse Quotes
Jill – “He said he was abused first, because I finally yelled at him for one more lost, broken promise…and then he grabbed my collar and pinned me against the sink with his feet on top of mine, and backing up only would land me in a further corner and he screamed an inch from my face to stop yelling at him as he bent me backward. I thought he would break my back. I said nothing.”
Alyssa – “She would violently switch moods and blame all her personal faults and problems on me, and somehow I believed it. She would find any excuse she could to scream at me and insult me, even things as small as messing up the bed sheets or accidentally stepping on her toe.”
Adrienne – “The real abuse started (even if not noticeable to me) soon after we married. Arguments so fast turned into full blown fights. And no matter what was said in between (there was so much) it always ended the same: me apologizing over and over for whatever he was mad about. Me promising to change myself. Me promising to never disappoint or anger him again.”
Amber – “Over the years he’s called me every profanity under the sun. I am belittled. I have been hit, choked and ended up in the emergency room twice; once from a head concussion when I was pregnant with our first son and once because I was punched in the face so hard that it chipped my cheek bone.”
Anne – “I have stayed because I have children with him and cannot afford to get another place. I have no scars on my body to show the police. My soul is scarred. I am trying to leave but need to figure out how.”
You can find many more abuse quotes in the stories of abuse and the stories of leaving, all from domestic abuse sufferers and survivors.