Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Abuse Quotes from Survivors

Journal standing upright open to a quote saying "Sometimes you have to be your own hero." Then the name of this website and title of this page.

Abuse survivors wrote these or I heard them during calls with them. Abuse survivors, in my mind, are those people who see the effect abuse has on their lives. Abuse victims are those who do not know they are abused (I was a victim for 17 years).

Abuse victims and survivors are both male and female. Most of the quotes I’ve collected come from women. However, I believe that the reason I have more abuse quotes from women is that women reach out for help more often. Women seem more likely to share their stories. Perhaps we’re simply wired that way, or maybe society doesn’t want to believe a man could suffer domestic abuse from anyone, male or female. That belief is untrue; new statistics show both women and men suffer domestic abuse in nearly the same numbers.

Leaving Abuse Quotes

Angela Lee – “Never believe you are in control. That is a form of denial. He can and will go ‘that far’. It isn’t the end of your life. Yes, you got beat, yes you he raped you, ruined a part of your life and you may lose everything, jobs, friends, belongings. That crap means nothing. Absolutely nothing. You have an awesome life waiting for you. Go get it!”

Paula – “I left the rings he gave me in one of the dresser drawers. I wanted as few romantic gestures clouding my decision to leave for good this time. (I had left two other times before but returned.) I didn’t engage him when he raged. I remained silent and calm.”

Casey – “[When planning to leave], I was just walking around like a zombie..I really had no idea what I was doing.. But the best thing that I did do was leave and get the hell out of there. I have no regrets.”

Jennifer – “I followed through this time with going. I quit my job of over 10 years. I gave everything he had back. I didn’t want any of it.”

Angela Lee – “Due to the trauma I lost 25 pounds off of my 5-foot frame getting down to 98 pounds. I have a serious arrhythmia which unabated will probably lead to a premature heart attack. I am barely 34 years old. Despite how tragic this seems, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. My friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers all came together to support me. I am very blessed.”

Doneta – “It’s a process. Once you’re free you really need to take time to rebuild yourself, don’t jump into another relationship. Heal before you move on.”

Jennifer – “I was over it. I had enough. I didn’t want to live that way anymore.”

Jim – “I was abusive too. It was a shitty relationship. I wanted her to love me but I didn’t know how to show her love or help her without being a complete jerk.”

Kate – “I knew I was being abused because I started becoming an abuser. He would say mean things to me & yell at me & we would fight, I would end up hitting him because I got so mad & sad.”

KareMarie – “I grabbed my car keys ahead of time and my phone, otherwise he would of smashed my phone and not given me my keys.”

Paula – “I left the rings he gave me in one of the dresser drawers. I wanted as few romantic gestures clouding my decision to leave for good this time. (I had left two other times before but returned.) I didn’t engage him when he raged. I remained silent and calm.”

Peacock Lady – “I left in 1981. I live a happy and rich life, I have my own home and work in the field of domestic violence and sexual assault. I look forward to each day.”

Sara – “We had a relationship like no other. He was my best friend, my lover, and my soul mate. It was perfect bliss…when he wasn’t hitting me, pulling my hair, choking me, calling me names, kicking me, throwing things at me, scaring me…when I wasn’t trying to explain every single minute of my life or delay at work, calls from friends, sick calls at work, and bruises/injuries. Yes, apart from that, it was perfect bliss.”

Sara – “I was very scared, I didn’t know if he would try to stop me. He had always threatened to kill me if I ever left him, so I made him think I would still be with him even when I went to college.”

Sheri – “[My therapist] said to me ‘OK, let’s just say [your daughters] do end up marrying someone like him. When the abuse starts they’ll think “Mom stayed, I suppose that’s the right thing to do.”’ That’s when I realized that I was setting a frightening example.”

Gipsy – “If you know, deep down that you deserve better, leave. It is going to be a long road and it is going to be difficult, but you will make it, I promise you that, and when you look back on your life a few months from now you are going to be so grateful that you have finally made a choice for YOU. You ARE important and you DESERVE to be loved, but only you can make that choice.”

Boring – “My sense of self was disappearing like I was falling into a hole of nothingness. I was only something in relation to him.”

Living with Abuse Quotes

Jill – “He said he was abused first, because I finally yelled at him for one more lost, broken promise…and then he grabbed my collar and pinned me against the sink with his feet on top of mine, and backing up only would land me in a further corner and he screamed an inch from my face to stop yelling at him as he bent me backward. I thought he would break my back. I said nothing.”

Kellie – “As usual, my mind is spinning in circles…is it me? Am I making mountains out of molehills? Being too analytical? Worrying about nothing? Being emotional?”