What Is Verbal and Emotional Abuse?
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Blocking and Diverting
What Is Blocking and Diverting and Why Do Abusers Use It? Blocking and diverting is basically changing the topic of a conversation or refusing to participate in it to gain control. Changing a normal conversation into one that shocks and hurts you is a control tactic designed to disorient and confuse you. A confused person is easier…
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Accusing and Blaming
What’s the Purpose of Accusing and Blaming? Accusing and blaming help abusers take the focus off of what they’re doing and put it onto their victims. If your abuser can convincingly accuse you of “starting this whole thing” or blame you for their actions, then you’re likely to consider their viewpoint, maybe agree then try to prove…
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Abusive Anger
What Is Abusive Anger? Why Do Abusers Use It? Abusive anger benefits abusive people by sending shockwaves of doubt and fear through their target’s mind and body. The target will freeze, flee, or fight back. The best thing to do is flee – leave the area. Besides preventing further emotional turmoil, abusive anger can turn violent even…
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Name-Calling Is Pure Verbal Abuse
What Is the Purpose of Name-Calling? If your partner calls you ugly names or sweet things but in a sarcastic tone, then you are verbally abused. Sometimes, not calling you by name at all is abusive too. Abusive people name-call in hope that you will feel unworthy, stupid, and as if who you are isn’t good enough.…
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Verbal Abuse Disguised as a Joke
What Is Abuse Disguised as Jokes? Abuse disguised as a joke happens when abusers tease or make fun of you, usually in front of others. However, you know they are threats and put-downs in disguise. They’re sick personal “jokes” between the two of you. Only you know the real story behind his “humor.” Friends probably wonder why…
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Undermining Is Verbal Abuse
How Does Undermining Work? Undermining kind of works as it sounds. Let’s say you’re digging a mine. It is a super-great mine! Your abusive partner begins digging a mine deeper than yours, directly under yours, without you knowing it. You come home from digging your mine one day and excitedly tell your partner about how…
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Threatening Behavior And Words
What Are Threatening Words and Behavior? As you can guess, threatening words and behavior imply or involve emotional pain, physical pain, or both. If your partner threatens to leave if you do or don’t do something, that is a threat. Threats are verbal and emotional abuse. Some things you could hear are, “If you go out…
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The Brainwashing Technique: How Coercive Control Takes Hold
Learn How It’s Done So You Can Undo It “Brainwashing” is the plain-language term I’m using for a process more often discussed as coercive control and psychological aggression these days. The newer terminology doesn’t have the same “Dammit you’re going to believe and do as I say or else!” feeling abusers go for. Coercive control…
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I Didn’t Know It Was Abuse
One morning, while applying waterproof mascara, I looked into my eyes and saw it. Nothing. My eyes didn’t shine or pop; there was no light. Where did I go? Where was my soul? Fiery hot tears boiled in the corners of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks leaving their tracks in the pink blush…
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Verbal Abuse Books That Teach the Vocabulary of Abuse
Verbal abuse books helped me discover that my marriage problems were rooted in verbal and emotional abuse. I felt relief because up until I read the library of verbal abuse books available, I thought that I was losing my mind. My abusive husband had almost convinced me that every problem in our marriage was my…