Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Kacy’s Story of Abuse

Two Stories of Abuse

Kacy’s Signs of Being Abused

I was listening to a Christian radio broadcast when the speaker mentioned that a woman has a right to say “no” to her husband I had a light-bulb moment! I then started reading everything I could find about abuse. Three Christian counselors agreed with me about the abuse, but I am so used to “second guessing” myself that I still wonder if I am over reacting!

Kacy’s Emotional Signs of Abuse

Depression, Guilt, Terror

Kacy’s Story of Abuse

I married Mr. Christian Nice Guy. We were kind of set up to meet at an event where he was playing his guitar and singing.

I thought that he was nervous and had a passion for doing things God's way. Then I lived for 9 years in abuse that I did not recognize.His History: His mom had left his abusive dad when he was twelve. She was and is still a total door-mat who pampered him and treated him like a replacement husband (I really think she thinks that I stole her “husband-son”.)

I was totally blinded by his “knowledge” and “spiritual sophistication” that I was naive and jumped right in believing that he was “the one”.

We had a super short engagement… there were several signs…I just thought that he was nervous and had a “passion” for doing things God’s way.

Then I lived for 9 years in abuse that I did not recognize. I grew up in a “dramatic” home where both parents were very abusive… though I doubt they would ever admit that now. It felt bad but familiar.

I tried to mold myself into whatever he wanted and it was never enough.

When he took this new job two years ago, things got really bad. I was home with two very young kids and I felt like all the “eggs” were kept in his basket.

He would say things like:

  • “God had a destiny for me, but now (with you) it’s ruined!”
  • “If you would just shut up, it would be easier for you…”
  • “NOW are you sorry you brought that up?”
  • “I will crush you!”
  • “I can’t believe I am married to THIS?”
  • “Are you going to get fat again? Do you think I like that?”
  • “The reason that I don’t help around the house is because I don’t want to make you more lazy…”

The worst parts are:

  • the death of my passions and interests in life
  • the FEAR
  • the awkward family thing
  • feeling isolated and totally dependent
  • and the guilt about giving my kids a broken home

He recently started the physical stuff. I have photos of the bruises, voice records, eye-witnesses to other incidents, and things like that. I am preparing to gather “my army” and wait for the right exit moment. I think.

I need A LOT of advice and prayer because I think I could maybe last another year, but I am tired of trying to avoid the inevitable. I have wasted 11 years. It is hard to really “give up” and accept that this is not going to change.

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