What happened that made you decide to leave?
I was going to college in a different state. Thankfully, that was the only way I would safely and emotionally be able to get free from the situation.
How did you feel about your abuser and/or your relationship in the days before you left?
I was very scared, I didn’t know if he would try to stop me. He had always threatened to kill me if I ever left him, so I made him think I would still be with him even when I went to college. I just hoped that he wouldn’t do anything crazy to jeopardize me being able to leave and go to college.
What three emotions did you most experience in the days closest to leaving Abuse? How did you deal with them?
Fear, anxiety, and hope. I dealt with the fear and anxiety through hope. I knew that in only a couple of days I would be leaving for college and would never have to see him again until I came home. He lives on the same street as me, so when I go home for holidays I will have to dodge him. But I never gave up the hope that I will be free and far away from the abuse.
What planning did you do before you left? Who knew you were leaving besides you?
I did a lot of planning before I left. I had packed all of my stuff, getting ready for college. My family and friends knew that I would be leaving state to go to college, and wanted to do everything possible to make sure I actually left and got away from the toxic situation.
What were the one or two BEST things you did before you left?
One of the BEST things I did before I left was actually hung out with my friends. I was so used to isolating myself, but I actually went and saw them and told them goodbye before I went off to college.
If there was anything you wish you had not done before you left, what was it?
I wish I wouldn’t have said goodbye to him, because he didn’t deserve to be said goodbye to.
How long ago did you leave? How do you feel today?
I left for college a month ago, which means I left him a month ago. I still am very hyper-vigilant and think he will come after me, but he doesn’t know where I am. I also feel SO FREE! I can go where I want, wear what I want, do what I want, hangout with who I want, and not answer to him. I am my own person now, and he no longer controls me. It is scary and new, but so empowering!