Effects of Verbal Abuse Video

The Effects of Verbal Abuse & Emotional Fatigue

[a couple minutes of needless video clipped here.]

And when I did check my email yesterday, I found an email from a friend of mine who is kind of in the same situation.

I’ve never met her, you all know how that goes online, and I won’t, of course, say her name. But there is something on the email that kind of woke me up.

She said, well, first she’s kind of in the same boat as me, her husband isn’t around right now. She says,

“I have no need to fret and worry about every little thing and not knowing when the next outburst will come, but now I have a new problem too. I literally don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Everything seems like such a big deal. Go to the store and then I’m so tired! And then I do one thing and I want and need to rest for the rest of the day.

“It’s emotional fatigue and I’ve dealt with it for years, but now I can’t even think what to do with myself or my new freedom, or partial freedom anyway. Is this strange?

“I sit in my chair with my laptop and cannot think of anything to do. I’m bored and tired all at the same time. What do I want, like, need? I don’t know. I truly do not know.

That’s me.

So, my question to everybody is this: “Is this emotional fatigue? Or is this natural? Is this something every normal wife goes through?

And I know you can go through a period of the blues but do you ever not have the energy just to think about what you might want from your life? From yourself? From your marriage if you dare think about that?!

I think what’s gotten me to this point is … oh, I’ve got an audience…

[directed to father-in-law…”Hello!” and quick small talk]

That was my father-in-law. I don’t know if he’s coming in or not. So, I’ll be back!

effects of verbal abuse videoYou could subscribe to my youtube channel here.

*Note: I divorced Will in 2011. The side effects of verbal abuse recur less often now, but I combat them with the abundant energy I have (now that Will isn’t sucking it out of me). My book, My Abusive Marriage: …and what happened when i left it will show you how much life changed when I left my ex-husband.

Kellie Jo Holly's amazon.com


(Visited 1,044 times, 1 visits today)


  1. I just watched your 5 min video on emotional fatigue. I experience this when I’ve seen the brunt of an angry out burst over xyz. It can last for a while or until I’ve been reassured that he was just tired or cranky from a bad day at work, or whatever reason he comes up with to be yelling and swearing. I’m a normally outgoing energetic person so it ways takes an external factor to bring me down to the point of no motivation to go to the store.

    • Hi Round2 🙂 I just wrote the transcript for it and I found it lacking in answers. I really would like to know if people who are NOT abused feel this way, too. I know the “external factors” you spoke of definitely affected me. But more than that, it was the eternal round-about in my mind – wondering what was going to happen, how I could fix whatever happened, was it my fault, what can I do different next time……

      That’s what really wore me down.

  2. A verbally abusive husband can make you feel like you’re going insane! They see no wrong in anything they do. In the state I live in verbal abuse is not recognized by the law as a basis for divorce. What can I do? ~ “All Cried Out!”

  3. Do not/cannot think/do the simplest task and when try to pull myself up feel physically sick and it was so tied in with the cycle of his abuse.

  4. I think this is the best information o have seen. My friend has been emotionally abused for 30 years. She is trying to get help but she is SO SO wounded. Are there any good counselors you could recommend in Dayton,Ohio

  5. Anonymous says:

    my mother was so verbally abusive always telling me i was no good. i was just a little child, 6/7 years old how could i have been so bad? she drank and she was a mean drunk. she would insult my father demean him in front of company. i tried so hard to please her but it was a losing game just leading to more put downs and verbal abuse. i’m an only child who not until i was 25 did i find out i was adopted. i was never able to have healthy relationships. the men i chose were cold uncaring critical and also verbally abusive just like her. i guess history repeats itself. nice decent guys who wanted to have a relationship with me were out of the question as far as i was concerned, i thought they were shooting low by setting their sights on me, thus not worth having. so here i am alone in life and still fighting with low self esteem even though i know better. the abuse went on all during childhood worsening during my teen years. i was accused of being a whore and so on. my aunt informed me that she felt sorry for me because my mother was very jealous of me. how sad and what a waste. i would envy friends who had these wonderful relations with their mothers calling them best friends, going to lunch and shopping.oh well i once read “you have to stop hoping for a better past” this is so true.

What do you think? Tell us!