Another Day. All has been the same – good days bad days. He is still breaking my things but, on the upside, soon there won’t be anything left to break. So last night Jerry and Marcia came over. Marcia left early to go home and there was just [my husband], myself, Jerry, and another male neighbor. I took my cue and gave the grandbabies a bath and put them to bed.
Around eleven I went to check on him. He’s in the kitchen doing the bobble head thing…drunk and asleep. I tried to wake him but he wasn’t budging. I go back to bed and one of the grandbabies had crawled in bed, no harm. [My husband] was down stairs.
Sometime later he comes upstairs, now he is mad as hell. Sometimes I think he has dreams and that sets him off. He starts screaming then he leaves, but within seconds he’s back and rips the cable box out of the tv. Now I am pissed. I grabbed it back and I don’t know why I was still half asleep but remember wanting to push him down the stairs to his death.
I went back in the bedroom and pushed a dresser in front of the door and tried to go back to sleep. Not for long. He put his fist or something through to come back in a couple of hours later to tell me he was running late and had to come down and do his laundry and pack his bag. Down I go because I don’t want the babies woke just to show him I had already done it.
While he starts again I tell I am going back up to please leave us alone. Around 6:30 I came down and to avoid waking the dogs, I go out front to try and figure out what had happened. He shows up coming around the corner of the house. I guess to find me doing something wrong. Whatever. So I come back in to get my punishment as we are sitting in the kitchen and I am being blamed for setting him off again.
I was picking up things off the floor. Stupid me I thought the fan blew them off the fridge. I realized today I was wrong. He finally left for work around 7:30 and a total wave of relief hit me.
Another Day. His granddaughter was born on the 25th. I hope he can finally understand why I am so protective of mine now. He made me go with him to see her – I didn’t want to go and he knew it. It would be the first time in a hospital since BooBoo, and of course I started to shake and get dizzy he let me go outside but I paid for it all the way home.
Another Day. Monica and her husband were uncomfortable. He was pretty good most the time, but was gone for most of it too. He came home yesterday. We had a great dinner and I thought it was all good until 4 am. He had to sleep in my room so her son could have the couch. Anyway he wanted sex and I was still sleeping.
That fool jumped out of bed, flipped me out again, told me that I had better fuck him and now or else! I told him to please quit screaming – we had company in the next room! I got up, ran out and started coffee. They were very polite and never said a word but said they wanted to go to O.C. for the day. They are supposed to go back to Florida on Sunday.
It’s Sunday. They never called took my calls or came back. So no more Monica. Another person chased off. He blames me for being a cunt and a bitch what going to happen when my sister gets here oh lordy I will pay! I told him I was going to see the kids in the morning. He is madder than a hornet.
Well he has his way. He is gone I don’t know where. I hope he left early to work. I slept in mac’s room last night since I can’t block the bed room any more. In her room I could sleep with my feet pushing on door …didn’t help he busted it open and flipped the whole bed over with me on it. I was sound asleep, then screaming and yelling. I went downstairs to get ready to leave and for once he did try to stop me.
I think he broke my neck – it barely moves. But he stood at the door watching me in a really weird way. I turned the car around but had to stop when one of the dogs ran out in front of me. I couldn’t stop! I tried again and he is just staring at me…at that moment I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. He did something to my brakes!! Please hurry Monday.
Another Day. Well for [my husband] was okay while [my friend] was here with her hubby. She just called. Apparently I was wrong – he bad mouthed me, told her how I abused him and how bad I was. She said it was the evil in him the way he talked and acted. They laughed about what he said to them. She didn’t even know we had problems! She asked how long he had been beating the shit out of me and told me to come stay with them. She was afraid for me, and they would never be back …. I’d love to know what really happened or was said. She won’t tell me.
Another Day. Guess I shouldn’t have gone to Marcia’s for coffee Sunday. He got mad because I was going across the street and started mowing the grass. “Good,” I thought, “that always calms him down.” Then I noticed he was cutting more than grass. He mowed down all my flowers and weeping willows – all 200. He really must hate me. Get a plan me!
Another Day. This time I am running away. I’m not quite sure where or how, but I have to. He knocked the door in again Saturday wanting a real fist fight this time. I pushed the door shut (or was trying to) and he ripped my glasses off my face. I got the door shut and slept.
I got up around 5 and he was still there on the couch, so I got in the tub and got ready to go see BooBoo. When I went in to get dressed, my glasses that were barely functional were gone. He watched me look for them, so I knew he had them. I asked for them but he said he didn’t. So I put in contacts. He forgot I had those.
As I go outside he said he would turn off the fence if I left, so I put the dogs in the car. Wrong move. He started for the puppies. I figured he was just going to put them in before he went for me. I have never been so wrong. He picked up those poor little guys, 6 weeks old, lifted them over his head – not quickly like in a rage – but slowly, all the while looking straight in my eyes. The whole time I’m thinking he wouldn’t … but he threw them into the kitchen!
He shut the door, took the only key, locked the house and left. I was stunned. I just sat there with the doors locked. As soon as I was sure he was gone, I just happened to notice the window was unlocked. I climbed in, grabbed the screaming pups and ran to Marcia’s.
They hid my car and took us in. They told I needed a plan especially after he had so called accidently ran over the pup’s mother a week and a half ago when he came flying in trying to get me doing something. Anyway I went to see booboo and have a talk with him after I calmed down.
When I returned, Marcia was in the house and dogs were on the porch, but poor Gavin was dead. I guess he hit so hard that within in an hour and half of being thrown his poor little brain swelled so bad his eye came out. He was dead. Murdered.
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