Catherine’s Story of Abuse

Catherine’s Signs of Being Abused

Catherine's Story of AbuseA counselor told me that I was in a relationship that was not going to get better. She said I should leave. I had a baby and thought I could cope. Years later I went to another counselor and she had me answer some questions about abusive relationships. I answered yes to almost all. She shattered my reality!

So another year or so on…and I am shutting down from my husband all together…it is exhausting to try and keep up the fight (does he care or doesn’t he)…Just read “The Abusive Relationship” by Patricia Evans. Good and clear of the details of what makes an abusive relationship. Where to from here?

Catherine’s Emotional Signs of Abuse

Helplessness, Anger, Frustration

Catherine’s Story of Abuse

My husband and I met through a friend. He was/is Christian…thought I was safe! He started repressing my attempts to express and assert myself the day after we were married (7 years ago). I was shocked and numb from then on.

How can he be like this? Uncaring words, blaming, raging and hostile body language are a weekly event. I feel ashamed that I have someone talk to me like that. I do not want to do anything with him.

He seems to think in polar ways. Someone is for him and then they are against him. He trusts very few people. He talks about The New World Order and thinks the world is going to fold at anytime…we better be ready.

Dreams we spoke of when we were first married are denied me now. I thought were getting a house when I started back at work. No. He changed his mind and has invested our money in other things. He says I hold onto things too tightly. No. I am sick of moving. We have moved 5 times in 7 years!  The tension this brings us is not worth it!!!!

He says one thing and does another…I feel like I can’t trust my own ideas and feelings on things.

Am I crazy? Do I have a right to be angry and withdrawn now? When I speak I get so disappointed in our relationship, that I could yell and scream myself. Am I becoming like him?

Are you abused? Tell your story and Break The Silence and download this Safety Plan.
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Comments

  1. Mine was paranoid as hell too. He said you couldn’t trust anyone, that I shouldn’t trust my family or friends or colleagues. He was so wrong — the one I couldn’t trust was him.

  2. Wow, this sounds just like my husband. He is caught up in all the conspiracy theories and new world order too…..the abuse is the same as well. Straight after the honeymoon it started 🙁
    He got stuck into my children too, this was my second marriage and my babies were 5 and 7.

  3. Anonymous says:

    MY HUBAND BREAKS ME DOWN. WHENEVER WE ARGUE HE BLAMES ME FOR EVERYTHING HIS NEVER WRONG HE LIKES TO POKE ME WITH HIS FINGERS AND POINT IN MY FACE SOMETYMS I TRY TO WALK AWAY BUT HE PULLS ME BACK AND BELITTLES ME TELLING ME EVERYTHING IS MY FAUL, WHEN HE BREAKS ME DOWN AND I CRY HE SAY I MUST STOP FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF AND IM A DRAMA QUEEN. HE PUSHES ME ALOT AND WHEN I TRY TO GET BACK HE PULLS MY HAIR AND NEXT DAY HE SAYS ITS MY FAULT AND I MUST SAY SORRY HE SAYS IM TO BLAME FOR HOW HE REACTS HE SAYS I NEED HELP. WE MOVED ABROAD AND NOW IM ALL ALONE WITH NO1 TO TALK TO NO JOB COZ I LEFT IT TO MOVE ABROAD WITH HIM, IM ONLY 24 I DO LOVE HIM AND HE CAN BE VERY SWEET AND VERY GOOD TO ME BUT IS THIS ENUF TO KEEP ME HERE?

    • NO. The “good times” do not erase the “abuse times”. Abuse will always present itself in this relationship.

      Did you know that poking is physical abuse? Pulling you back (controlling where you are physically) is physical abuse, too.

      If you are powerful enough to “make him” act horribly, then why can’t you “make him” act kindly? It is because HE controls his actions and reactions. There is nothing you can do about how he acts. You can only control yourself.

      I hope you move back to your home country, near the people you know. He isolates you from anyone who will give you support, and moving you to a different country is a HUGE deal. The abuse will get worse.

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