How Amber Found Out She Was Being Abused
It was pretty obvious. If you know me…then you know I am in a abusive relationship. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard “Why don’t you just leave?” “He isn’t good to you…or your children” “You deserve better than this.”
Three Words Amber Uses to Describe Her Experience
Stress, Fear, Low Self-Esteem
Hi, my name is Amber. I am 28 years old. I have been married for ten years and I have four children. When I met my husband I was 18 years old. We met at work…he was handsome, Christian and came from a good family. I married my husband after only dating for a few months. We were young and I was in love. It made sense to me at the time.
My husband was very charming in the start of our relationship and I always felt bad for him…because he grew up being verbally abused and physically abused by his father. He was very hurt by this.
When we were dating he showed some red flags…once in an argument he got very upset at me and called me vulgar names and yelled. He later apologized and I just swept it under the carpet. Our arguments were never normal so to speak. He would get very defensive over the smallest things (because he felt like I was disappointed in him or putting him down. I think that these insecurities stem from years of his father’s emotional abuse but this would set him into a rage.)
Over the years I have been called every profanity under the sun. I have been belittled.
I have been hit, choked and ended up in the emergency room twice; once from a head concussion when I was pregnant with our first son and once because I was punched in the face so hard that it chipped my cheek bone.
It may be easy to sit back and say “Why didn’t you leave?” and honestly I wish I had an answer to this one. All I can say is I love my husband. I feel sorry for him (or for the small boy that spent decades of abuse at the hands of his father). I also see the potential in him. I know a side of him that is educated, charming, sweet and kind. (He has the typical Jekyll/Hyde personality of a Verbal/Emotional Abuser.)
I wanted to believe that I can “HELP” him with his anger issues. I didn’t want to abandon him like his father had done. I wanted to hug that small boy and tell him that he was worthy.
But I wonder if there is any “of that sweet boy” left in this man.
I WANT TO STOP THE CYCLE OF ABUSE. And in order to do so…I cannot remain silent. My name is Amber and I am in a Emotionally/Verbally abusive Marriage.
Break the Silence: Share Your Experience