Sharon’s Signs of Being Abused
My signs of abuse were all verbal…..and so blatant I didn’t really need to go look on the internet to validate.
Signs included really graphic name calling (whore, slut, cunt, fucking added to any one of those, diseased bitch, cheap ass whore, etc, ad nauseum.) Added to it was manipulation through promises and lies to create a situation for me that would make me happy and not want to leave despite the above name calling. And finally threats and ultimatums…
Sharon’s Emotional Signs of Abuse
Anger, Depression, Worthlessness
Sharon’s Story of Abuse
This was a long distance online relationship.
My boyfriend was so charming at first. He seemed to really go out of his way to find out what made me tick and be that perfect romantic man who promised to take care of me and heal all my past hurts. I got such promises that he had these huge real estate deals coming in (he was unemployed and I was paying for everything from a distance) and everything kept getting delayed until I realized it was all just lies.
When I started to question things, it would escalate into a fight. I would be called whore, slut, cunt, any one of those three, diseased bitch, etc, told how my ex-husband, whom he never met, was right about everything and I was poison. Then he would alternate and say he was sorry and that he loved me and I am a goddess, and everything he dreamed of, and so beautiful, etc.
On top of that he was so jealous. I had a Facebook account that had over 3,000 friends on, that I spent years building up. He demanded I close it because other men gave me compliments on it ( which apparently made me a “Facebook whore”) saying it was him or that account, which he was connected to by the way.
He would text me all the time asking me what I was doing, what my plans were, etc. We used Viber to message as it’s free, and that showed your location. And if I was somewhere he didn’t recognize, I got all kinds of questions. I also got threats about “exposing me to my friends” and “telling my work what kind of person I was” ( this was a new job I had started) and even threats about my custody with my son.
This all started to wear me down, this nonstop cycle. I didn’t know what to believe anymore and I felt so tired, depressed and horrified that the person who said he loved me so much would treat me the worst anyone ever had. I’d alternate between getting mad at myself for allowing it and getting mad at him.
And the worst of it is, it was making ME angry. I started to say nasty things to defend myself. In short, sinking to his level…like a wounded animal who was lashing out. And it was all useless anyway, all he wanted was a puppet who would sit there and listen to his abuse, he never wanted to look at himself or his action. But wanted you to feel so bad about who you were.
One day, after a day of senseless name calling, I had enough, and that fueled me to break the cycle. I asked him “What REALLY is the point of your verbal abuse? Do you want to drive a person to hate themselves so much from your words they kill themselves just so you can feel good and righteous?”
I then changed my phone numbers, blocked him from emails, and anything I was connected to him on. And here I am…..finding solace that others have gone through something similar and come out just fine.