Abuse Hides in the Dark. Turn on Your Light.

Jamie’s Story – Leaving Abuse

quote from Jamie about leaving abuse

What happened that made you decide to leave?

After 4 years of going through this, I was scared to leave. I felt like I had to stay because if I left then he said he would hurt me and my family. I finally had enough after his behavior was torturous. He was always insulting, possessive, controlling, making me cry, calling me horrible names and always telling me how I should look or dress.

How did you feel about your abuser and/or your relationship in the days before you left?

I felt really scared. Couldn’t eat, sleep, or do my job. I lost weight because of this and felt really sick. I felt like death was near and couldn’t help it. I was always so afraid of him and felt like I was walking on eggshells. I felt like my heart was saying “Get out!” but my mind was like “Stay.”

What three emotions did you most experience in the days closest to leaving Abuse? How did you deal with them?

Before leaving I felt really scared, self-conscious, and hurt because he made my life a living hell. I still have negative thoughts every now and then thanks to him and will probably never get over it.

What planning did you do before you left? Who knew you were leaving beside you?

After all the crying, almost hitting, screaming, yelling, name-calling, possessiveness, jealousy, threatening, and never really letting me do anything, I finally had enough. I had told all of my friends and family about it and my mom ended it for me.

The two best things I did were getting braces and a new hairstyle. You see, he made me hate my smile, and because he made me feel so self-conscious I got braces. Now my teeth are straight and I love it. The other thing I did was I got a new hairstyle. He hated it, but it made me feel really good about myself.

If there was anything you wish you had not done before you left, what was it?

I don’t wish for anything. What happened was in the past and I’m never going back to him.

How long ago did you leave? How do you feel today?

I left in July 2016 and I’m never going back. Today, I still have negative days but other than those few days, I’m really happy. I’m eating again. Gained weight. Don’t have trouble sleeping. I still love my job and have even gone on dates since. Maybe I’ll get into a relationship again soon.

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