What happened that made you decide to leave?
My daughter’s father used drugs in house, when I was at work, while caring for our infant daughter.
How did you feel about your abuser and/or your relationship in the days before you left?
I felt frightened and angry. This was the last straw!
What three emotions did you most experience in the days closest to leaving Abuse? How did you deal with them?
Sad. Bitter. Numb. I just plowed through and got to the other side.
What planning did you do before you left? Who knew you were leaving besides you?
Nobody knew. I found out where the shelter was. I knew I needed to have a police escort to get there. That was it.
What were the one or two BEST things you did before you left?
I terminated the lease and cut off utilities, since they were in my name.
How long ago did you leave? How do you feel today?
Twenty-one years ago. Know I did the right thing.
Is there anything else you would like to say?
I drove my abuser to work one morning and dropped my daughter off at daycare. I then took the day of work and drove myself to the U-Haul rental office. I left my car there for the day and rented a truck. I loaded every single thing out of our house into the rental truck and drove it to a storage space where I unloaded it. I kept enough clothing for myself and my daughter so that we could stay at a shelter for a few weeks until we got back on our feet.
At the end of the day I returned the trailer, got my car, picked up my abuser from work and dropped him off at a friend’s house along with his belongings. I picked up our daughter at daycare and called the police to escort us to the shelter. I remember thinking I had super human strength that day.
The Second Time
What happened that made you decide to leave?
My daughter’s father beat me in front of her and almost knocked her down a flight of stairs in the process.
How did you feel about your abuser and/or your relationship in the days before you left?
I despised him.
What three emotions did you most experience in the days closest to leaving Abuse? How did you deal with them?
Sad. Distraught. Helpless.
What planning did you do before you left? Who knew you were leaving besides you?
I found out what counseling options were available and where out of state shelters were located. I made sure we had a safety plan in place if he came near where we were living, and all our friends knew what to do if they spotted him near our place.
What were the one or two BEST things you did before you left?
I made a safety plan with friends and got counseling, group and individual.
If there was anything you wish you had not done before you left, what was it?
I tried to reconcile with him through our pastor who did the counseling.
How long ago did you leave? How do you feel today?
Eighteen months ago. Happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
Is there anything else you would like to say?
I made a plan to move 900 miles away and start over without him knowing. I don’t know if he knows where we are. My plan is to never again have contact with him. I think he might kill me as he’s threatened to do many times, if he ever finds me.
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