I left my abusive marriage just like Susan, the author of the story below. Focusing on this part of her story is important because although staying in an abusive relationship isn’t easy, living after leaving one isn’t easy either. It’s wonderful to think that after leaving abuse life will go straight back to normal. But it […]
Navigating Life After Abuse
How is life after abuse treating you? What are some things that may happen to survivors after leaving their abusers?
Escaping abuse means turning your life upside down, but the trouble of escaping abuse is well worth it if you know what to expect when you go. Read my new post at HealthyPlace.com titled Escaping Abuse: 5 Things Your Therapist Won’t Tell You
Your body’s initial drama-love hormones settle down eventually. However, the memory of that intoxicating love can cause you to stick by your partner’s side, to wait it out. You’re sure the abuse is a fluke (if you notice it as abuse). Meanwhile, the abuser’s nasty comments and behaviors kick in full force. You’re partly in disbelief but mostly angry and hurt. You fight back fire with fire. But eventually, the war against abuse takes it toll on you.
Anyone experiencing repeated traumas as with domestic abuse can be triggered unexpectedly. Even so, identifying triggers leads us to better mental health because once we identify the triggers, we can stop them from hurting us.
I’m doing it again. I’m losing my mind in match-3 computer games that let me ignore unpleasant thoughts. I tried believing that playing those games relaxes my brain and that matching colored balls on Bubble Witch qualifies as a healthy, mindful activity. In reality, the games help me keep nothing on my mind. In thinking’s absence, I can avoid asking questions […]
I feel that anyone could lethally wound me with a glance. I feel exposed to many elements of my mind; exposed and in danger, not exposed and protected. My fiance, Jarimie, wants to protect me when I feel vulnerable. But how can he protect me from myself? From my thoughts and fears? He cannot do […]
Fortunately, today is a better day thanks to the helpful people I found while following my intuition. I know, beyond a doubt, that I am capable of surviving without a car, without a home, without a job and without a shower. The intuition I used to build the support network I needed to leave my ex-husband proved its flexibility to get me off the street and into an apartment. Into a job. I survived.
I don’t know much. At least I know I don’t know much. Life takes twists and turns that seemed impossible only days before. Now, more than any other time in my life, I am uncertain what tomorrow brings. Over the past year and a half I’ve lived with my sister, my grandmother, my fiance and […]
Emotional Intelligence is “street smarts,” as opposed to “book smarts” when speaking about emotional strength. Emotional intelligence accounts for a great deal of a person’s ability to navigate life effectively. We experience different levels of emotional intelligence based on our own life’s teachings and experiences.
Verbal abuse underlies most domestic violence. Hostile language is dangerous to our health not only because of its destructive nature but because it so often escalates into physical violence. Learning the Art of Verbal Self Defense is learning how to create a system (in any environment) where you can diffuse hostile language as well as give the victim or yourself an opportunity to get to a safer environment.