The greatest things about letting my boys visit cousins without me is this: I don’t have to wake up to a messy house! The house will be just like I left it when I went to bed – clean, neat, ready for the morning…
Um, I should have sent the kittens to visit relatives too!
But really, who can be upset with kittens?
And as I wrote that I couldn’t be upset with kittens, I realized that it’s because I accept them for what they are. Namely, playful, rambunctious, sweet, messy, and apparently full of feces.
Granted, I’m not going to be able to keep 9 cats; I’m going to have to give some away even though I do accept them for what and who they are.
Am I going to have to do the same with my husband? Am I going to have to give him away even though I “knew he was like this when we married”? Even though I wish he was nicer? Even though I think he’d be a happier man if he could learn to play nicely with others? Even though I want to stay?
One major difference between kittens and husbands is that I don’t expect kittens to change for me. I don’t seem to need evidence that a kitten “loves me.” I love the kitten anyway.
Why do I expect my husband to prove he loves me by changing?
Why do I need anyone to prove their love to me?
I don’t seem to need anyone else in the whole world to validate me, approve of me, give me permission to be myself. They either like me or they don’t; love me or not. Of course, I DO want to be liked, but if I can’t be myself AND be liked by any other person in the world, then oh well.
So why have I given my husband this power over me? Why strive to be someone different for him?
Why should he strive to be someone different for me? It feels impossible to be his wife.
Even though I love all the kitties, I’m going to have to let them go. Although I love my husband, am I going to have to let him go too?
Read this entire post and more. Buy My Abusive Marriage . . . and what happened when i left it by Kellie Jo Holly