Fear is a powerful force; it holds us tightly making it too hard to breathe, to feel, or to see a brighter future. Keep in mind that your fear, although probably wisely created out of necessity, is YOURS. You choose when to let it go.
My first step in letting go of my fear was anger, actually. I had picked up a book that spelled out my experience so succinctly that I could not postpone applying the label “abusive” to my relationship any longer. I was pissed at my husband for doing all those things to me. The miraculous bit was that I allowed myself to be angry!
That was hard. Always before I had “reasoned” out answers to why I could not, should not, be angry. Something was always my fault; a defect in personality, a defect in upbringing, a defect so deep within myself I couldn’t pinpoint it. Fact is that although I am far from perfect, none of my defects warranted the perpetual abuse I suffered.
I let myself feel the anger.
If you’ve ever been angry at someone, then you know that anger can unleash words and actions that you did not anticipate! Sometimes, my anger spilled out in unproductive ways, to say the least.
But my anger also created verbalabusejournals.com, and that creation is helping me to unload years of resentment AND navigate my way to peace in a healthy way.
There’s no way to know what your key to letting go of your fear will be, but I have the sense that the answer lies in your willingness to FEEL something about it. Give yourself permission to feel it through and through, no apologies, no excuses for why “not feeling” is a better alternative.
I know you will find a way out from under your fear. It’s only a matter of time.