My Verbally Abusive Marriage » My Verbally Abusive Marriage

My Verbally Abusive Marriage » My Verbally Abusive Marriage http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage ...and what I'm doing in it Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:32:56 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= Hurt by your church? http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/02/01/hurt-church/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/02/01/hurt-church/#comments Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:32:20 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1880 ShareHave you been given bad advice by a member of the clergy? Did you feel blamed for the abuse in your relationship instead of helped? Have you been told to carry the water and serve the one who abused you? If so, then you know that some clergy must be better educated about the dynamics of abuse. [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/02/01/hurt-church/feed/ 1 Three Stories of Domestic Abuse http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/01/26/stories-domestic-abuse/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/01/26/stories-domestic-abuse/#comments Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:30:02 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1876 ShareThis month, so far, I’ve received three stories from brave women. Two of them speak to financial abuse also, and Sarah has a blog. These are their stories: Rose Felt Worthless, Stuck, and Crazy Laura Felt Devastated, Frustrated, and Shocked Sarah Felt Betrayed, Sorrow, Brokenhearted (Sarah’s Blog: Sarah Found Her Voice) Related posts: New Stories [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/01/26/stories-domestic-abuse/feed/ 1 New Blogs About Abuse http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/01/18/blogs-abuse/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/01/18/blogs-abuse/#comments Wed, 18 Jan 2012 19:31:09 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1864 ShareUne Vie, a new blog, stands on the threshold of liberating its writer and many others who care to follow her story of abuse. The writer contacted me to let me know she identified the issues in her marriage as abusive and is ready to do something about it. I’m so excited for her! Running [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/01/18/blogs-abuse/feed/ 0 An Anniversary Worth Celebrating http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/01/18/anniversary-celebrating/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/01/18/anniversary-celebrating/#comments Wed, 18 Jan 2012 06:28:44 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1859 ShareOn January 22, 2012, it will be two years since I left my marriage. I’ve come so far since then; I did the right thing for my children and myself. I’m having some “issues” today that I was going to discuss in this entry. But before I did that, I went back and took a [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2012/01/18/anniversary-celebrating/feed/ 2 Domestic Violence Mentoring http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/12/31/domestic-violence-mentoring/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/12/31/domestic-violence-mentoring/#comments Sat, 31 Dec 2011 05:47:00 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1849 ShareThere are agencies designed to help victims of domestic violence when they’re ready to leave the abusive relationship. Those same agencies may counsel victims of domestic abuse who are not yet ready to leave, but need support and information as they try to salvage their relationships. If you have access to those groups, then please [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/12/31/domestic-violence-mentoring/feed/ 0 Whoomp! There It Is! Verbal Abuse Strikes Again http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/14/there-it-is/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/14/there-it-is/#comments Tue, 15 Nov 2011 03:09:22 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1825 ShareSo…last weekend there was a touching scene between my son and his father on my front porch. There was a hug and Will said ”You look good, son!” Will looked genuinely happy to see Marc, and vise-verse. Fast forward to today when I, in my brilliance, decide to call Will. I tell him that Marc feels depressed and it is [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/14/there-it-is/feed/ 0 Roadmap to Freedom http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/14/roadmap-freedom/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/14/roadmap-freedom/#comments Tue, 15 Nov 2011 01:06:35 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1822 ShareI like how Katheryn Lee-Ryder named her radio series “Roadmap to Freedom”. It’s the perfect name for people stuck in abusive relationships! Sometimes victims stay because there’s no direction on how to free themselves. Abuse diminishes our ability to see our way free. We victims become reliant on the most unreliable source in the world [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/14/roadmap-freedom/feed/ 0 Stories of Abuse – Summer 2011 http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/14/stories-abuse-summer-2011/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/14/stories-abuse-summer-2011/#comments Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:52:29 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1819 ShareThis past summer’s testimonials came from several brave people who reached out to share their experiences. Doing so was good for them and good for us. Those of us still in abusive relationships can find validation in their experience, to know we’re not alone. Those of us out of abusive relationships can remember why we left [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/14/stories-abuse-summer-2011/feed/ 0 What I Want http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/07/what-i-want-2/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/07/what-i-want-2/#comments Tue, 08 Nov 2011 03:08:05 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1805 ShareOn March 1, 2010, I wrote a post called I Want to Lie to You. I wanted to protect myself from judgment by not telling the truth. My life is different now. I know that the choices I make will be judged by others. The difference between now and then is that I am willing to [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/07/what-i-want-2/feed/ 1 Stranglehold http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/01/stranglehold/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/01/stranglehold/#comments Wed, 02 Nov 2011 02:33:07 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1792 ShareWriting the post on anger yesterday brought up some bad memories. My ex-husband once terrorized my mind with his wrath. (What will he be like tonight? Is it a good time to ask him now? What do I need to do before I run these errands so he’s not angry when I return?) Punishment for [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/11/01/stranglehold/feed/ 2 Taboo http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/10/18/taboo/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/10/18/taboo/#comments Tue, 18 Oct 2011 05:10:05 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1789 ShareOver the past couple of years, I’ve written this blog straight from my heart. When I look back over the posts, especially the ones in the beginning, I see errors in my thinking. In many posts, abuse and its effects clouded my thinking; I doubted myself at my strongest, persevered with bad decisions when I [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/10/18/taboo/feed/ 3 Free to Follow My Dream http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/10/02/free-to-follow-dream/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/10/02/free-to-follow-dream/#comments Sun, 02 Oct 2011 14:44:26 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1784 ShareMy brain hit the ground running this morning. I tried unsuccessfully to feel the warmth of Max beside me, the soft wind from the fan and the cozy-soft microfiber sheets. But my brain wouldn’t have it. It was like while sleeping, it discovered all the answers and couldn’t wait to put me into action. Unfortunately, [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/10/02/free-to-follow-dream/feed/ 1 Calm and Crazy http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/09/27/calm-crazy/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/09/27/calm-crazy/#comments Wed, 28 Sep 2011 01:01:33 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1484 ShareA post I left out of the mix due to the divorce proceedings. This post dates about 6 months into our separation. June 6, 2010 So the past few weeks with Will have gone pretty smoothly. We’ve had some pretty cool conversations considering what we’re going through and how we’re at odds over SO many [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/09/27/calm-crazy/feed/ 0 J.D. Smith Inspires Abuse Sufferers http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/09/24/jdsmith-inspire-abuse-sufferers/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/09/24/jdsmith-inspire-abuse-sufferers/#comments Sat, 24 Sep 2011 18:11:10 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1764 ShareIn The Dark “In The Dark” ( A Song For Battered Women) off the hot new Conscious Earth E.P. by Indie Artist J.D. Smith who says, “Please help me raise money and spread the word through this song and my new E.P. benefits an overcrowded women’s shelter called PROJECT SAFE in Athens Georgia.- Peace out” Now available for [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/09/24/jdsmith-inspire-abuse-sufferers/feed/ 0 Sociopathy and Abuse http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/09/23/sociopathy-abus/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/09/23/sociopathy-abus/#comments Fri, 23 Sep 2011 04:07:32 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1762 ShareI did not write this essay. I found it at http://www.conversationsforabetterworld.com/2009/11/domestic-violence/ in response to a comment I posted in 2009. I admire this woman’s depth of thought, and since we’ve been discussing courts, law, etc. on facebook, I thought it was a relevant idea to share. ———————————— Written by Tonya Saturday 21st November, 2009, 2:57pm [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/09/23/sociopathy-abus/feed/ 0 Exorcising Demons http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/07/25/exorcising-demon/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/07/25/exorcising-demon/#comments Tue, 26 Jul 2011 02:00:58 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1738 ShareDemons worry that we will know their names (all the horror movies say so and, actually, my angel says so, too.) Once we name the demon, once we recognize it, it loses its power. For example, when I admitted to myself that the demon in my marriage was ABUSE (not Will, but ABUSE), the abuse [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/07/25/exorcising-demon/feed/ 2 Shutting Up http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/07/11/shutting-up/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/07/11/shutting-up/#comments Mon, 11 Jul 2011 22:22:10 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1727 ShareLast year, I tapered off from this blog because I was afraid of what would come of it in court. Nothing came of it in court. This blog was either irrelevant or the battle didn’t get nasty enough for his attorney to use it. Or maybe there was nothing to be said about it. Will’s [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/07/11/shutting-up/feed/ 3 Pride Revisited http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/07/09/pride-revisited/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/07/09/pride-revisited/#comments Sat, 09 Jul 2011 19:56:59 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1721 ShareLast year, I wrote a story called Pride and Greed about how those two sins work together to create an abusive relationship. But now that I think about it, the story is not quite right. I mean, the story helped me to understand how Will and I “happened”, but it’s off somehow. The story is [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/07/09/pride-revisited/feed/ 1 Steve’s Story of Abuse http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/12/steves-story-abuse/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/12/steves-story-abuse/#comments Mon, 13 Jun 2011 01:47:13 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1712 ShareSteve submitted a testimonial of his abusive experience. His emotions include anger, sadness and confusion. Steve mentions that he is in the “personal responsibility” stage as it pertains to his abusive marriage. The responsibility for abusing falls directly on the shoulders of the perpetrator, not the victim. Yet so many victims (me too!) want to [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/12/steves-story-abuse/feed/ 1 Conflicting Thoughts After Leaving Abusive Husband http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/11/conflicting-thoughts-leaving-abusive-husband/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/11/conflicting-thoughts-leaving-abusive-husband/#comments Sat, 11 Jun 2011 23:40:49 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1708 ShareI wrote this in my journal two weeks after separating from Will, my abusive ex-husband. I know at least one of you recently left your abuser, so when I read this today, I thought of you and the turmoil you may feel. February 9, 2010 Spent the last few days obsessing and sad. No real [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/11/conflicting-thoughts-leaving-abusive-husband/feed/ 0 Catherine’s Abusive Experience http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/04/catherines-abusive-experience/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/04/catherines-abusive-experience/#comments Sat, 04 Jun 2011 18:14:48 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1705 ShareCatherine – A counselor told me that I was in a relationship that was not going to get better. She said I should leave. I had a baby and thought I could cope. Years later I went to another counselor and she had me answer some questions about abusive relationships. I answered yes to almost [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/04/catherines-abusive-experience/feed/ 0 Jill’s Abusive Experience http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/04/jills-abusive-experience/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/04/jills-abusive-experience/#comments Sat, 04 Jun 2011 17:45:17 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1687 ShareJill - He said he was abused first, because I finally yelled at him for one more lost, broken promise…and then he grabbed my collar and pinned me against he sink with his feet on top of mine and backing up only would land me in a further corner and he screamed an inch from [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/06/04/jills-abusive-experience/feed/ 0 Poets and Knights http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/05/29/poets-knights/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/05/29/poets-knights/#comments Sun, 29 May 2011 15:35:11 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1676 ShareOnce upon a time, there was a young woman who wanted more than anything to find her poet, her love. She imagined long afternoons with him, sitting under shady trees and dining from picnic baskets filled with grapes and sandwiches. When he looked at her, she could see the twinkle in his eyes and knew [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/05/29/poets-knights/feed/ 0 Dream World http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/04/28/dream-world/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/04/28/dream-world/#comments Thu, 28 Apr 2011 04:10:57 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1669 ShareI wrote this some time ago: Poe wrote, “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” Perhaps his statement sheds light on why abuse is so difficult to describe, so difficult to recognize, end, and admit. Living in abuse, I know that nothing is real. Every word I say is [...]

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/04/28/dream-world/feed/ 0 Pro-NotAna http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/03/26/pronotana/ http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2011/03/26/pronotana/#comments Sat, 26 Mar 2011 17:20:47 +0000 Kellie Jo Holly http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1663 ShareI’ve been flipping through the web looking at pro-ana (pro-anorexia) sites for school. Sigh. I’ve seen tips on how to binge and purge, how to diet by taking in -1200 net calories for the day, and images of stretched out super-thin and bony women who the photographer seems to idolize. I’m a firm believer in [...]

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