I guess people don’t often think of men as victims of abuse, but I’m one. I’ve been married 8 years and have one child. My wife and I met and got married pretty quickly – a few months. Everything was great until the wedding day when she had some sort of anxiety or panic attack, which I just chalked up to it being “the wedding day” – despite it seeming rather odd and extreme.
I soon learned that she had serious anxiety issues which cause her to always want to be in control of her surroundings. It made (and still does) meeting people difficult, because she usually avoided social situations – and still does.
I also learned that she had a really bad and unpredictable temper. What seems like little things to me would set her off into fits of rage and fury. She’d call me names, break things. The first really violent act I remember was about 6 months after we got married and she threw a full mug of coffee across the room. It hit the wall up near the ceiling and shattered – coffee everywhere.
My instinct was to see a person hurting and in need, and I just wanted to help her. I’m sure that’s one reason why I’m still with her. It’s interesting that she gets so furious so quickly, will yell at me, belittle me, pick everything I do apart, criticize me – and often a few hours later, apologize.
We both call it her “freaking out” and she does know it’s an issue. However, I don’t think she realizes how much of an issue it is. And I don’t think her therapist does either.
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Break the Silence: Share Your Experience