My Verbally Abusive Marriage

I spent most of yesterday reading through my old journal and putting new pages on the site. If you’re interested in reading nine new entries dating from 2003-2006, you will find the start of them at Wish Wash.

I forgot to breathe

Click the “Later” link at the top right to flip through the entries.

Turns out I was pretty depressed during this time period. We (my mother, sister and I) were attempting to turn Bluelady Muse into a personal coaching operation, but my heart wasn’t in it. I think the entries show that my heart was into beating up myself.

Oh well. Then conclusions I reached in those days fed my current realizations. All of this, the site, accusing Will of abuse, et cetera, began with me tearing myself apart.

I guess when I finished (am I really finished?), I knew our problems could not possibly be 100% my fault. I was damaged, but I wasn’t broken.

I’ll probably post some more entries soon. Reading them made me really sad. Sad for myself, where I’ve been; how lost I’ve been.

It’s better now. I’m better now.

Possibly Related Posts:

1. Ali’s Abuse Testimonial
2. C. Anne’s Journal Entry
3. More Verbal Abuse Testimonials
4. Re-Feeling
5. Emilie’s Uncertainty

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