-isms
Marc and I had a conversation on Friday about equality of race and sex. I’ve long believed that my children’s generation is the first in this country to grow up in an environment where most people consider themselves to be equal in worth to their neighbors, spouses, class mates, and all the other people they meet during the course of the day. Not that racism and sexism and all the other -ism’s do not exist; they do. But my sons’ generation doesn’t have to fight for equality like the baby-boomers and generations before them did. They don’t have to raise their collective voice or refuse to move from a restaurant’s counter. As a whole, my son’s generation loves who they want without regard to race OR sex.
However, Marc says, his generation is not very individualistic. They don’t see the value of self because self is lost in the whole. They’ve been taught (correctly) to disregard outward signs of difference and look to the individual’s character, but, Marc says, the teaching of equality also tends to sweep away the unique talents of an individual. Teens are not taught to be proud of their differences, the bits of talent and personality that makes them who they are. Instead, they’re expected to blend in with the rest, not toot their own horn, and not be “more” than the guy sitting next to them.
It doesn’t matter that the guy sitting next to them may be “more” when it comes to singing and my son may be “more” when it comes to numbers. Nope. Neither teen’s talent is honored, validated, or approved.
Part of me thinks that Marc’s view is a side-effect of adolescence when we all want to be part of a group. We want to identify ourselves to something with a definition. Even if you were a “loner” in high school, there were other “loners” around you. You were part of a group.
But I’m concerned because if we take away all trace of positive differences, if we refuse to honor uniqueness, then what do teens have to strive for? It’s not okay to be “more” than anyone. So where do teens find their identities? By being less than someone else. If you take away the positive, all you’re left with is the negative.
If a kid can’t get honor and approval by being better at something, then isn’t he more likely to seek that attention by being badder than the guy next to him?
It is okay to be “more” than your neighbor in some ways. It is okay to toot your own horn when the situation calls for it. It is okay to say, “I am a great ___________!” and perfectly wonderful to be proud of it. Now that we, as a society, are truly getting the -isms out of our system, now that we’ve pretty much knocked the bullies down to size, it is time to stand up and be counted for our unique talents.
Let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water…be proud of who you are and all the differences between yourself and your neighbor. I would like to see all of us honor our god given talents, put them to use for the betterment of ourselves and everyone else, and never ever think we’re “more” than someone else because our talent is merely different from theirs.
Is that so hard?
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