http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2010/02/23/fixing/ ...and what I'm doing in it Sat, 28 Aug 2010 19:29:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2010/02/23/fixing/comment-page-1/#comment-1118 eaglewolfespirit/Deb Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:44:09 +0000 http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1267#comment-1118 Kellie & Erin! I've been meaning to tell you, I have listened once to this Hypnosis, and although not 100% sure, I have felt SO much better, SO much stronger, and insight and outlook is clearer! A few days ago, I had my 7yr old listen to it as well, for as long as he is here, she needs all the ammo she can find to repel his antaganostic/abusive comments, & ways! Thanks ladies! Kellie & Erin!
I’ve been meaning to tell you, I have listened once to this Hypnosis, and although not 100% sure, I have felt SO much better, SO much stronger, and insight and outlook is clearer! A few days ago, I had my 7yr old listen to it as well, for as long as he is here, she needs all the ammo she can find to repel his antaganostic/abusive comments, & ways! Thanks ladies!

]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2010/02/23/fixing/comment-page-1/#comment-1117 Erin Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:20:59 +0000 http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1267#comment-1117 Hmmm. Sounds like a good time to listen to your hypnosis mp3! :) Hmmm. Sounds like a good time to listen to your hypnosis mp3!

]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2010/02/23/fixing/comment-page-1/#comment-1114 eaglewolfespirit/Deb Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:09:38 +0000 http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1267#comment-1114 Kellie! I cannot begin to tell you just how much you sharing your situation and THOUGHTS is helping me to see the "light" on SO many things!There is good & bad in all things, and what you do for me is just a small portion of the good that will come from this bad thing!Some of what you realized yesterday, I have realized in the past, ie: we each own our own troubles and the resolution of such. What stuck out for me in this post was: #1. The way you describe co-dependancy,gave me a greater understanding of the concept,and how it has applied to me in various situations. I never (before today) was quite able to grasp the definition of co-dependancy.And as a footnote, I have read TONS of material! #2. In describing your desire to want to help you child, I think it is a commendable and rightful place for a parent to be. For example, our children are left in our care for us to protect and guide into adulthood. As in your specific situation, your children being older, I can understand where it is more appropriate to support them making their own decisions and acting upon them, 100%. However, with a younger child, I can also see where the situation would be different and your actions would then be per se, warranted. There are many variables ( as to the "why's") to take into consideration with this particular situation,and it is only understandable one would take those steps, and make that fumble.Something a dear friend has said to me over & over, "you're not raising kids, you're raising an adult." #3. I really like the way you addressed the "guilt" aspect of this scenario, the fact the it does happen.We most certainly SHOULD NOT feel guilty for leaving such a negative situation. You are certainly making progress by leaps and bounds, and I am one who is grateful for that blessing! Keep on keeping on!!!! In my situation, In a conversation I initiated (which later turned into an arguement attempt that I refused to engage in),I explained that I can no longer engage in this relationship intimately, until it is realized by BOTH of us that there is a problem, and help is sought. I can see where I have been involved in the dance of abuse, and as much as I hate to admit it, an enabler for him to continue the bad behaviors. I'm pretty sure this situation will follow where most go, and I'm fine with that. Angry and resentful at times, but I'm working through that every day! Kellie! I cannot begin to tell you just how much you sharing your situation and THOUGHTS is helping me to see the “light” on SO many things!There is good & bad in all things, and what you do for me is just a small portion of the good that will come from this bad thing!Some of what you realized yesterday, I have realized in the past, ie: we each own our own troubles and the resolution of such. What stuck out for me in this post was: #1. The way you describe co-dependancy,gave me a greater understanding of the concept,and how it has applied to me in various situations. I never (before today) was quite able to grasp the definition of co-dependancy.And as a footnote, I have read TONS of material! #2. In describing your desire to want to help you child, I think it is a commendable and rightful place for a parent to be. For example, our children are left in our care for us to protect and guide into adulthood. As in your specific situation, your children being older, I can understand where it is more appropriate to support them making their own decisions and acting upon them, 100%. However, with a younger child, I can also see where the situation would be different and your actions would then be per se, warranted. There are many variables ( as to the “why’s”) to take into consideration with this particular situation,and it is only understandable one would take those steps, and make that fumble.Something a dear friend has said to me over & over, “you’re not raising kids, you’re raising an adult.” #3. I really like the way you addressed the “guilt” aspect of this scenario, the fact the it does happen.We most certainly SHOULD NOT feel guilty for leaving such a negative situation. You are certainly making progress by leaps and bounds, and I am one who is grateful for that blessing!
Keep on keeping on!!!!
In my situation, In a conversation I initiated (which later turned into an arguement attempt that I refused to engage in),I explained that I can no longer engage in this relationship intimately, until it is realized by BOTH of us that there is a problem, and help is sought. I can see where I have been involved in the dance of abuse, and as much as I hate to admit it, an enabler for him to continue the bad behaviors. I’m pretty sure this situation will follow where most go, and I’m fine with that. Angry and resentful at times, but I’m working through that every day!

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