Comments on: Am I happy he is gone?

By: tiffany

tiffany — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 21:37:12 +0000

Oh I love the budding of joy and the emergence of freedom. I am excited to see what goodness is coming your way brave girl!

I think that even when sadness or grief settles in here and there, you have to remember that the grief is for what you WISH your marriage had been. Not for what it really was. And I think that since you got two beautiful boys out of it, there is no reason to regret what was. At the same time, there is every reason to celebrate what will be.

Only the best for you as you move forward!

By: Me

Me — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 17:13:31 +0000

Kim, you’re right about the bunny bit. Yes, I am sad about many things (my marriage is OVER for goodness sakes!). I am happy that he’s not in my presence now. But underneath the conflicting emotions is something unfamiliar…it’s the budding of joy, the emergence of freedom that I took back from someone else after I had given it away to him.

Joy is replacing the fear I carry in my heart, slowly perhaps, but it is there and I will allow it to grow.

By: Donnalee

Donnalee — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:45:11 +0000

Oh man Kellie, the anxiety that I felt just reading that…

Unfortunately you cannot change the other person who creates that atmosphere until they see what they do and change.

You may feel sad at times at the loss of “a relationship that was full of dreams” BUT…a relationship that eats away at your very soul is not what anyone really wants.

You sound like your happy about what is not going on around you right now and don’t you dare feel guilty for feeling happy. I bet your house feels so calm.

Thinking of you.

By: Kim

Kim — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:44:54 +0000

Hi Kellie,
Oh my days…. I am so happy for you, but I doubt you are the happy bunny of all your up and coming tomorrows. Just as you, yourself have acknowledged you have to sort out what you are going to fill your mind with. It’s like being lost and up until now every corner you have turned has been met with a violence of one sort or another, or all sorts together. Now, this next corner your turning, you are met with space and time, and most importantly (and somewhat scarily) yourself. These, unless you know EXACTLY who you are can be frightening and (key word coming up) unfamiliar. We tend to fall back into familiar territory, if it presents itself. So watch out. Be present (yourself) in every moment. Enjoy and practice the stillness of a moment. Just be. For you, I think, this will take some doing. You’re life has existed on a knife edge, so I think you will have to accept that some hard work is ahead, but enjoy it, because every day, in this vein, will get easier and easier.

Are you happy he is gone? I think you may feel relief, but you may also feel grief too. That would be perfectly natural, I think, although some may think not.

Thinking of you loads and sending love across the pond. xxx

By: Erin

Erin — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 13:34:52 +0000

Ummmmmmm… I say that you are…

HAPPY!

Woo Hoo! When is the last time you felt such peace? I am so, so, so, so, so glad for you, Kellie!

By: javanejoon

javanejoon — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 12:35:34 +0000

Id say you must feel a huge sense of relief now that you have some peace in your life. You made a brave move and good on you girl. Stay strong and keep safe.

By: keepsmiling

keepsmiling — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 08:43:41 +0000

Yes i think your happy lol, one time my ex came home and first thing he did was take his finger rub it over the dada and held it up to me showing me the dust hahaha then he ran his finger across the top of the door like im only small and dont usually dust up there and made a point of holding his dusty finger up to me again lol, i wanted to scream are u f**king crazy, if its so important get a cloth and do it yourself what an imbecile im am so rid of that looser.