Comments on: Thor’s Hammer http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2009/12/27/thors-hammer/ ...and what I'm doing in it Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:25:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Me http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2009/12/27/thors-hammer/comment-page-1/#comment-804 Me Mon, 28 Dec 2009 02:39:48 +0000 http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1069#comment-804 For a long time, I've told my boys that I have an evil twin named Cassandra, so the idea of naming my inner critic isn't far off base to me. For some reason, I feel like naming that voice "Bubba". Weird. But really, the critical voice is like a man in a wife-beater tank top - willing to beat me up (mentally) but really just a big hairy bully with no balls. So "Bubba" it is. For a long time, I’ve told my boys that I have an evil twin named Cassandra, so the idea of naming my inner critic isn’t far off base to me. For some reason, I feel like naming that voice “Bubba”. Weird. But really, the critical voice is like a man in a wife-beater tank top – willing to beat me up (mentally) but really just a big hairy bully with no balls.
So “Bubba” it is.

]]> By: quietone http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2009/12/27/thors-hammer/comment-page-1/#comment-802 quietone Sun, 27 Dec 2009 23:21:15 +0000 http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=1069#comment-802 I quit playing along with the criticism from within and from with out. I named my inner criticism so I can address her as a separate entity. That has worked really well for me. Some times she makes sense and sometimes she does not - but at least I am not emotionally attached to her thoughts any more. The other criticisms are harder - but generally I quit defending myself. If he says something critical, I acknowledge what he says but I never have to agree. But I have been fairly detached these days. "checked out" is a phrase that comes to mind. It sounds awful but it keeps me sane and able to weed out the genuine man from is rush to criticism and thoughtlessness and keeps me from feeling the sting. I quit playing along with the criticism from within and from with out.

I named my inner criticism so I can address her as a separate entity. That has worked really well for me. Some times she makes sense and sometimes she does not – but at least I am not emotionally attached to her thoughts any more.

The other criticisms are harder – but generally I quit defending myself. If he says something critical, I acknowledge what he says but I never have to agree. But I have been fairly detached these days. “checked out” is a phrase that comes to mind. It sounds awful but it keeps me sane and able to weed out the genuine man from is rush to criticism and thoughtlessness and keeps me from feeling the sting.

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