Abusive Nonsense
I’m taking a little break in the after actions review of my temper tantrum to share a separate but relevant thought.
When I realized that what happening in my family was abusive (and began writing this blog), I was tormented by the thought that it was too late for my older son. I thought and worried constantly about Marc’s behavior and wondered if my son was destined to be an abuser.
However, I am beginning to think differently on this matter.
My son exhibits qualities vastly different from my husband’s after an event like this has occurred. He has always willing to apologize, not just with words designed to worm out, but with words exhibiting a true desire to make things right. Even before I realized the abuse in my home, Marc and I were able to overcome what, unbeknownst to us at the time, were abusive incidents.
I believe Marc, with support and guidance, will overcome his abusive teachings. Nevertheless, “He’s acting like his FATHER!” is a thought that, when it hits me, seems like the end of the world. Or, at least it did. Now when those words cross my mind, I’m going to think, “This abusive nonsense is what I’m fighting, not my son.”
In other words, I’ll detach. With time, I’ll more easily detach from my husband, too.
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November 14th, 2009 at 2:57 AM
In other words, I’ll detach. With time, I’ll more easily detach from my husband, too.
This is where the loneliness comes in, when you start to fear that because you have chosen to live with this man, will you die of a broken heart? Is this any way to live?
You don’t have friends and family around because they simply cannot understand why we haven’t left. They get tired of seeing you so sad and that your light has gone out. They feel helpless but feel that they just can’t support you anymore.
What does that mean? What do I do…do I stay and fight because I love him and I know that there is a wonderful man in there…I’ve seen it. Do I plan to get out, organize things, even if it takes a year or two. Is that how I can survive his abuse, will this get me by?
November 14th, 2009 at 3:32 AM
Gee, how can you tell I’m feeling down. Had a horrible incident this evening. Just so damn tired.