Comments on: Angst http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2009/11/12/angst/ ...and what I'm doing in it Sat, 12 May 2012 04:16:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Erin http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2009/11/12/angst/comment-page-1/#comment-674 Erin Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:12:40 +0000 http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=942#comment-674 Well, first of all, you are NOT like your husband. I believe there is a HUGE difference in doing something because it is who you are, and doing something because you have learned it... It is just about learning new concepts and thought processes to keep you and your mind strong. You husband has beat a particular thought process into your mind for the past (almost) 20 years... it is understandable to slip back a little (especially when you are feeling very sick, upset with an old anger, AND on medicine). To comment on your last thought, "I couldn't think of a damn thing." TOTALLY taking things out of all that I know... and this is extremely menial compared to what you are dealing with... Sometimes when Ed gets home, he tracks mud through the house from his work boots. I get flustered, grunt, and tell him that his boots are muddy. He says, "I'm sorry", and I tell him if he was really sorry, he wouldn't do it again; and if he did, he would sweep it up and not assume I was going to do it. But you already know that. You already are working on that. It is okay to make a mistake, it is how you deal with the mistake that is important. You dealt with it wonderfully... You just can't undo all that has been "done" by your husband in a few short months. I hope you feel better soon. Call me when you do! Well, first of all, you are NOT like your husband. I believe there is a HUGE difference in doing something because it is who you are, and doing something because you have learned it…

It is just about learning new concepts and thought processes to keep you and your mind strong. You husband has beat a particular thought process into your mind for the past (almost) 20 years… it is understandable to slip back a little (especially when you are feeling very sick, upset with an old anger, AND on medicine).

To comment on your last thought, “I couldn’t think of a damn thing.”

TOTALLY taking things out of all that I know… and this is extremely menial compared to what you are dealing with…

Sometimes when Ed gets home, he tracks mud through the house from his work boots. I get flustered, grunt, and tell him that his boots are muddy. He says, “I’m sorry”, and I tell him if he was really sorry, he wouldn’t do it again; and if he did, he would sweep it up and not assume I was going to do it.

But you already know that. You already are working on that. It is okay to make a mistake, it is how you deal with the mistake that is important. You dealt with it wonderfully…

You just can’t undo all that has been “done” by your husband in a few short months.

I hope you feel better soon. Call me when you do!

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