What I Love
I have been MIA for a few days because I am doing a web design job for a friend (with pay!). Last night I took a minute to think, and I noticed that something my dad told me was reverberating in my mind.
He said,
“You really can do anything, so you must choose what you LOVE over what is possible.”
I have the talent to be a web designer. The work is challenging and rewarding. But here’s the thing. While working with my friend, I put ALL of my energy into her site. I didn’t journal, I didn’t blog. I stayed up too late and wore myself out. I pushed off important thoughts; didn’t complete other important duties, didn’t pay enough attention to my youngest son.
None of this is her fault, of course! It’s mine.
“Losing myself” in a creative goal is what I do. When I have the opportunity to create, that is what I do. It’s a fine quality, one I am not interested in abandoning.
HOWEVER, I’ve decided that I want to put my creative energy toward something else. Maybe my self. My site. My blog. My writing. My life. My vision for me.
I’m not going to hire myself out as a web designer anymore.
There is a bit of fear in this decision. I could make good money as a designer. That money could go toward funding my emergency account!
But I want something more. “…choose what you LOVE over what is possible,” Pap said. Web design is possible. But I just know there’s something else out there for me to do. I have faith that I’ll find it.
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