Gems
Although I have skirted the outposts of my personality, my nature, previously, I am now going into me full force. I am reaching in deep and pulling out the treasures. I am finding the jewels inside of myself. I’m so excited about the gems I’m unearthing that I can’t quite understand why YOU don’t want to see them.
Maybe in the past, my excitement over my discoveries has driven me to hastily giving, and hastily trusting, you with my treasure.
My disappointment over your lack of excitement or callous comments caused me to crumble. Caused me to decide that what I had discovered was worthless because you didn’t care. When I’ve given them all to you, you’ve thrown them back to me, disgusted. You’ve ignored or criticized my treasures until my only dream became the day you would see what I wanted to see in myself – something valuable. Someone worthy. Some one…me.
Why did I give you the power to set the value of my treasures? Why did I think your opinion more valuable than my own?
It isn’t, you know.
I want to spend some time in a sunny room sorting through my gems, getting to know myself. Setting my own value. I will share myself, when I’m ready, without expecting one iota of care (or excitement) from you.
I’m discovering an awesome woman within myself. I love her. I want her to grow and I will nurture her.
Even if that means sitting in a sunny room enjoying the light reflecting back onto me off of my sweet, beautiful, precious gems – alone.
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October 8th, 2009 at 9:18 PM
I’m so happy to stumbled on your website. I was feeling so alone until I started googling today regarding verbal abuse. Thank you for being brave and blogging.
October 8th, 2009 at 10:56 PM
I love it Kellie! BTW – I’ve always seen your gems. I am glad you are finding them again.