http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2009/10/06/randomly-ks-story/ ...and what I'm doing in it Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:25:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2009/10/06/randomly-ks-story/comment-page-1/#comment-534 Me Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:38:37 +0000 http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=851#comment-534 It's interesting that today I was talking to a woman and we opened up on this subject. She said the same thing - "He didn't WANT me to be happy!" When I think back, most of his most hateful outbursts occurred when I was at the top of my game, emotionally, physically, or mentally. In the past, I've hidden the glee or pride from him to avoid his anger. I'm not going to do that anymore. I don't know if I'm going to bother with the "It hurt my feelings when..." statements anymore. He doesn't care that I'm "hurt" only that he's getting what he wants - me in a hole. Me, under his thumb, under his control. It's going to be tough when he returns from this deployment. I'm not the same person I was when he left. It’s interesting that today I was talking to a woman and we opened up on this subject. She said the same thing – “He didn’t WANT me to be happy!” When I think back, most of his most hateful outbursts occurred when I was at the top of my game, emotionally, physically, or mentally. In the past, I’ve hidden the glee or pride from him to avoid his anger. I’m not going to do that anymore.
I don’t know if I’m going to bother with the “It hurt my feelings when…” statements anymore. He doesn’t care that I’m “hurt” only that he’s getting what he wants – me in a hole. Me, under his thumb, under his control.
It’s going to be tough when he returns from this deployment. I’m not the same person I was when he left.

]]> http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/2009/10/06/randomly-ks-story/comment-page-1/#comment-528 Unknown abused wife Fri, 09 Oct 2009 01:23:28 +0000 http://verbalabusejournals.com/verbal-abuse-marriage/?p=851#comment-528 "Well, I think I just figured that one out. He doesn’t really want me to be happy. My happiness threatens his ability to “make” me behave as he would like." WOOOOW! light bulb moment here. Last night I was so happy and bubbly and yes, he seemed to get more and more angry as the night wore on until I was foolish enough to express that something hurt my feelings. Just one sentence "When you did ... that hurt my feelings." literally that is all I said. he exploded. Happiness snuffed out like a little candle. “Well, I think I just figured that one out. He doesn’t really want me to be happy. My happiness threatens his ability to “make” me behave as he would like.” WOOOOW! light bulb moment here. Last night I was so happy and bubbly and yes, he seemed to get more and more angry as the night wore on until I was foolish enough to express that something hurt my feelings. Just one sentence “When you did … that hurt my feelings.” literally that is all I said. he exploded. Happiness snuffed out like a little candle.

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