This Doesn’t Work
I want my son to help his grandfather care for the yard by weed-eating. Two days ago, I told him that I wanted him to do this before Grandaddy started mowing on Saturday.
He didn’t do it, but that was okay. Friday would be fine.
Friday comes, Marc sleeps late and rolls around the house the rest of the day doing nothing. He doesn’t weed eat the yard. I know he’s going to have to tend to it Saturday morning, and I tell him so.
This morning, he rolled out of bed at 10 AM. He made a sandwich and was snippy with his little brother. Grandaddy is already outside mowing the yard.
I ignore the snippishness, but it irritates me. This kid is moody and through his attitude and actions “demands” the rest of us to respect his mood, but seeming not to respect or care about either his brother or me.
I tell him that after he eats his sandwich, he needs to go outside and weed-eat. I’m feeling irritated and taken advantage of, but I say nothing about THAT because, really, who cares? I want Marc to do as he’s told.
Later, I ask Marc if he’s ready to go to the yard.
“No. I’m drinking coffee.” It’s 10:38.
I tell him he has until 11AM, then he’s to be in the yard. He wants to debate it. “It doesn’t matter if I go out now or not. Grandaddy’s already mowing the yard. I can go out later.” – I cut him off and say,
“No, you’ve had two days to do it. Now you need to be outside by 11.”
He says, “See? You cut me off! I’m not arguing but you’re going to turn this into an argument!”
“Go get ready to be outside by 11,” I said. He said something else, but I ignored it. I sat here thinking, “Here we go again…why can’t he JUST DO AS HE’S TOLD?!” and feeling angrier and thinking about how little control over my kid I have; in short, beating myself up for not “being” better as a mother.
These thoughts occupy my attention even as I try to focus on something else.
11 comes around and I go to check on what he’s doing. The kid is in the shower. I think, “ANYTHING to NOT do what I’ve told him to do.” I internally yell in frustration, walk away from the door, and promise myself to grab him up as soon as he’s out of the shower.
11:23, I find him sitting on the couch, dressed and drinking water. “Marc, get outside and weed-eat the yard.”
“I’m drinking water,” he says.
“I see that. Take it with you.” I decide to not leave the room or his side until I know he’s on his way out the door. I’m thinking that all he needs are his shoes as he walks down the hall…and passes them. That ticks me off.
“What shoes are you wearing?” I ask instead. He ignores me as he walks into his room. I walk toward his room as he comes out, passes me without saying a word, and grabs his mp3 player out of his brother’s room.
He finally puts on his shoes, and exited the door at 11:25. I have the sneaking suspicion he only went out there because today is the day he’s set to get his computer and phone back from a grounding 5 days ago.
I’m irritated because he wants to debate everything. I’m irritated because I’ve “given in” two times by extending his “getting ready” time at his request. I’m also irritated because I told him two days ago that he could have his computer back AFTER he worked in the yard, and I THOUGHT he would be motivated to get out there ASAP instead of waiting for SATURDAY morning!
I’m disappointed because of his choice of inaction on my request, the feeling of being taken advantage of by giving the “extensions,” thinking that he ignored me purposefully,…on and on.
And I’m still unable to focus on what I want (something good for me), so I came here to write and maybe find out how I can handle not only Marc but my own feelings and thoughts concerning him.
The next post will have to take care of the “problem” (I hope).
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