Honey Do
Still on the topic of my husband and whether he reads my blogs or not. He says that he can read my blog when he pretends that it’s not me writing it. He says that he takes it too personally when he reads it as if I am the author. He says that he wants to educate himself, that my blog and site “would be” very educational to people who also ”think” they have an abuse problem. He also says it reads as if men are the only abusers, and he would like to see that changed.
He has never addressed any specific post or even acknowledged that my writing has “helped” HIM at all. Although he finds it “educational,” I can’t help but wonder what is so educational about it, from his point of view.
I mean, if he pretends that I’m not the author, then why read it? If he doesn’t want to gain a heads up on what I’m thinking, then why read it?
That’s when it hit me. “His wife” would NEVER publicize these private things online, nor would she think twice about living the way he prescribes to her.
“She” would remain silent except to call him in for lunch, dinner conversation, and maybe some light concern about finances or the children. She would enjoy sex whenever he was in the mood and turn her own libido off. She would “let him be himself” by realizing that his temper, ideas about what a wife IS, and the fact that he works his ass off for his family is ENOUGH. She wouldn’t ask him to call when he was going to be late, or admonish him for driving drunk. She would love him for “who he is” and appreciate that he loves her in his own way.
And “his wife” would not, could not, feel or think the way the author of this blog feels and thinks.
You know, I’ve never ever ever hidden or locked up my journals at my home. I told him once that he could read my journal if he wanted to. In fact, I was DYING for him to invade my privacy. Dying for him to WANT to know what I thought about him, our marriage, our children, and even what I thought about when I wasn’t filling the role of “wife” or “mother.”
He never read them. He didn’t want to know.
I doubt he reads this blog either. Why would he?
Possibly Related Posts:
- Todd’s Abuse Testimonial
- Update from Todd
- Conflicting Thoughts After Leaving Abusive Husband
- Turning Inward
- Why Don’t You Just LEAVE?
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