No, I haven’t made a new home in a nutshell, but I did find an excellent article written by Val Farmer entitled Emotional, verbal abuse follow common patterns.
I’ll be back with some new thoughts over the next couple of days. Right now I’m dealing with some “stuff” (and we all know what THAT is, don’t we?) Oh, we don’t?
Okay – briefly: As my teenage son struggles to create his adult identity, I’m seeing some scary similarities to his daddy. No, it’s not Marc’s “fault” that he’s acting out in these ways, and it’s not my husband’s “fault” either. Marc is acting like he’s been shown to act by his father.
The jury’s still out on whether I think my husband abuses on purpose or not, but I don’t think my son does. And I don’t think my son wants to. And if I hear “But I’m not doing anything wrong!” one more time, I think I’m going to pop a gasket.
The gasket that holds my brain inside my head…you’ve got one too, so watch it! The gasket that holds my love for my son in my heart is still intact, so that’s one less thing to worry about anyway.
I’m beginning to see the full impact of my decision to remain in a marriage in which “something was wrong” for all these years. But there’s no time to lament my part in this crappy abusive marriage, nor do I have the luxury of sitting around feeling sorry for myself and playing the victim’s violin.
I’ve got two boys that are going to be their own men in a few short years. I have a lot of work to undo.
And hey – if you have a second, send a prayer or some positive thoughts to whomever or wherever you send them, for me and my family, please. I am overwhelmed.