Drive
Well, I finished updating my pages, and then I finished fixing all the broken links (which I didn’t expect, but maybe should have?). In the interim, I learned about .htaccess files and THOUGHT I was going to have to take a crash course in MYSQL, but fortunately, I did not have to do that! It’s coming, but not today…
And now that I’ve bored you to tears, I’ll tell you what you’re dying to know… I ate General Tso’s chicken for dinner! No, I’m just kidding. What you may be wondering is why did I call this entry “Drive”? (Or more likely, you’re wondering something else…but I don’t feel like pulling out the tarot cards to discern your innermost thoughts, so I’ll just slide out of neutral and move on…)
Drive. I’ve been single-minded for the past week, and I met a goal I had set for myself. I am so proud of myself! I have thought for the longest time that I “needed” an external motivation or deadline to complete a project. In fact, I’ve spent lots and lots of time dying for someone else to tell me what to do. If that someone didn’t like my idea or wasn’t interested in it, I let the idea die.
I have thought that I needed someone else to believe in my idea for it to be worth working toward. Turns out that the only person who absolutely must believe in the importance of any of my ideas, any of my goals, is ME.
If and when I believe in what I’m doing, then there is no stopping me. I can do anything, with or without support, when I believe it is the right thing to do…believing that I’m doing the right thing requires a lot of thought and a lot of intuition and a lot of faith. Fortunately for me, those three things are powering the creation of verbalabusejournals.com.
Thought, intuition and faith are powering me, but they’re not created by me. It’s a synergystic feeling…I’m drawing from them, but I’m not creating them; even though they seem to come from inside of me, they’re coming from something outside of myself. But without me, they have nowhere else to go…so we need each other.
I’m a conduit. But I get to add pieces of myself to the final output. I feel like I’ve been given the opportunity to pass along a message or create a new thought form or…
Now my filters are on. I’m filtering out all of the grandiose possibilities that my guides are feeding me because I’m afraid I’ll sound too conceited and full of myself. Please understand, and it may sound crazy, and maybe I am crazy (only time will tell) but I feel plugged into something big.
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