On Second Thought…
I’ve got a question for you: Is it abuse if I cut off my teenager mid-sentence and tell him that I don’t want to hear his mouth anymore? See, technically, I believe all people should be heard (even if you don’t agree with them). This extends to my children; I’ve always tried to respect their feelings and hear their opinions.
For the most part, this works very well for me. I’m very close to my boys, and even though they throw (age-appropriate) tantrums that drive me up the wall, both of them always come back to me to talk it through.
But when my teenager starts backtalking and arguing, I just tell him that I don’t want to hear it anymore. Then he throws the tantrum, usually mutters something, and storms off – which is fine with me because when I say that, I really truly DO NOT want to hear it.
My son is driving me crazy
I just realized why I love to write things out, especially when I’m in some emotional turmoil. I answered my own question.
It is inappropriate for my son to backtalk and argue with me because he knows full well that I am willing to have a reasonable conversation with him over ANY subject. [In the past two weeks we've talked about his newly chosen religion, sex and drugs and how he feels about them (SCARY!) without any arguing or fighting. And I didn't lecture - these were conversations. We have them all the time.
What I'm doing is telling him that he's crossing my boundary. He is not allowed to backtalk and argue over some things (chores, house rules, etc.). The rules are mine to set because I'm the parent, and I won't allow his sour mood to dictate the direction of our conversation. If I can learn to hold my tongue, so can he. [And any of you with teenagers know what I'm talking about! LOL]
So. I have a boundary. Yay Me!
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