Our husbands think backwards (outside in) where and where most of us humans speak naturally which is inside to out. So the bottom line on this situation and all you minute conversations that have turned into arguments with no resolution…there will never be one!! They can’t understand the way we think until they get help and learn how to naturally think; it explains childhood situtations that can lead to this behavior.

My therapist had said when he says theses of the wall things, come back calmly with “what are you trying to saY” what does that have to do with what were talking about”, or just plain WHAT??? I know most of my husbands communication is so confusing, but his intimidation gets me to stop talking and showing him I’m right and he is wrong, because I know it won’t get me anywhere. So she had said take control of the conversation, by asking him what he means by that statement and it will be in his hands to explain and of course run by his sick mind, and come up with a answer that makes since, or I’ll say it again, what did that have to do with what were talking about? Bottomline, just keep the control of the conversation until he can come up with a explanation that actually is rational!

Patricia says in her book, to just say “What?” and if he continues to make no since or is irrational continue to say “What?” because if we continue to respond at all (being defensive) we are validating their behavior and letting them keep the control.
I’ll write more later, my daughter just stopped by!
Cami

I can not tell you what to do, because you have to make that decision for yourself. But in doing so, think of the kids, it doesn’t matter if you tell them that it is not acceptable the way Dad treats you, your actions are what will make the difference in their lives. It’s a mixed signal, but you did stay and they might think its okay to treat a woman like this, or if you have a daughter, by staying you are telling her this is okay to be treated this way by a man, don’t do as I do, but do as I say! It won’t work.

I had mentioned in my last email that I spoke to Patricia Evans and she told me to have my husband read her latest book “Controlling People”.

I have read the book and what I have learned I am passing down to you:

I hope this doesn’t have max character on it, I’m going to test it..to be continued