Passed Out
He’s asleep already. Now maybe my heart rate will go back to normal. The “expecting” of some sort of abuse is the worst part. Well, that’s not entirely true, I guess.
The worst part is being affronted by insults and demands and not knowing how to respond, if to respond, or how to hold my temper. If I let loose on him, the abuse only escalates. And trust me – that’s never a good thing.
When my heart was racing, I was partly remembering when he tossed me over the table and held me down by my throat and chest. I wondered if he would get that mad again. But you know something sick? After he let me up off the couch, it was like a relief. It was like, “OK, that’s over now.” I was calm, I think.
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