What happened that made you decide to leave?
After nearly 3 years, the emotional/mental abuse turned physical. I was in my freshman year of college and, with the help of new friends, realized I was missing out on a lot.
One day after a huge fight I tried to end it, and ran home from his house to my parents’ house. My mom came into my room and just sat with me while I sobbed through all the horrible things he had made me feel and had done to me.
I agreed to meet with him after this to talk about things. This talk got heated and he got frustrated. He pulled out his colt .45 pistol, cocked and loaded it. He then proceeded to take my phone, while in a deserted parking lot, and held the pistol to my head until I agreed to get back with him.
Shortly after returning to my college campus we had another large fight, and I called things off again. I went to class right after, but he called nearly 10 times during class until I texted saying I would meet him after class if he drove up. I left class planning to meet him, and holding my ground said I needed to have some space but would consider returning to our relationship.
I went out and enjoyed single college life for the first time over the next few weeks. I made my decision that I wasn’t going back, and he wasn’t pleased. He came to campus packing heat and banging on my dorm door, screaming for me. Thank goodness I wasn’t there. I ultimately had to get a restraining order, but that didn’t stop a 3 month barrage of angry email/social media messages until my parents and I blocked him multiple times. And finally it all stopped.
How did you feel about your abuser and/or your relationship in the days before you left?
I was scared. I was so unsure if I made the right decision, and I was so thankful for family and friends to continue to reassure me that it was right to leave the relationship. He scared me and not knowing what he was going to do scared me too.
What three emotions did you most experience in the days closest to leaving abuse? How did you deal with them?
Fright, Anxiety, Sadness
I spent a lot of time talking to my friends and to my family to ensure I was ok, and took steps with campus police to make sure I was safe
What planning did you do before you left? Who knew you were leaving besides you?
I made sure my friends and family knew what was going on, so if anything happened people were aware what was going on.
What were the one or two BEST things you did before you left?
I talked to my mom and made sure I had a great support system.
If there was anything you wish you had not done before you left, what was it?
Nothing, except wish I’d done it earlier.
How long ago did you leave? How do you feel today?
I left six years ago. There are still times I get down/scared/upset about it, but I’m thankful I learned early to never let a man treat me that way again, but I still judge men against the things he did wrong.
Is there anything else you would like to say?
Find a support system, they are the best resource you can have to leave.
Are you abused? Tell your story and Break The Silence.
Did you leave an abusive relationship? Tell us how you did it at How I Left Abuse.
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